A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend, first love, and the guy i lost my virginity to a few weeks ago and i still feel incrediblely heart broken. I went to a party and drunk loads to try and forget about it and ended up having sex with a random guy. I feel so so so so so ashamed of myself. I cant stop thinking about it and how everyone must think im such a slut. Now im sober i dont even find the guy attractive! what can i do to try and move on from this?
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broke up, drunk, lost my virginity, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Some girls in your situation do that with 10 guys before they realize they're on a losing path. Count yourself lucky you learned after one and don't don't don't do it again. You're not a slut if you stop now, not at all.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 you use it as a growing and learning point.
two things:
1. never get drunk at a party (never get drunk if you can help it)
2. new men do not make the pain of an old man go away (same for new women vs an ex gf)
do NOT beat up on yourself there is NOTHING you can do to change the past, just use it as a jumping off point for improving your choices.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 January 2013):
Note to self - A bad decision rarely makes things better.
Live and learn.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): Dont worry about what others might think of you, no one is perfect. Just make sure you get a check up if you didnt use protection and chalk the incident up to experience. The guy is no gentleman if he knew you were totally drunk and not thinking straight. So have a quick word with him and ask for an apology and some discretion from him. That means NO gossiping about you! It is the least he can do. Then work on ways to overcome your recent break up. Regard the incident as a symptom of that break up and try not to dwell in it too much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): Take it as a learning experience... Now you know that one night stands are not your thing. Some people can have meaningless sex, but for others sex is nothing without a connection e. This is even more emphasized due to your recent break up and where the sex was with someone you had a deep emotional connection.
You know that the one night stand didn't mean anything and you can't undo what happened. Accept it as a life experience and move on!
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Think of it this way. You've learned that sleeping with other guys won't speed up the heartache of breaking up with your ex, and that drinking too much alcohol can make you do things you later regret. Two good lessons in life.
Don't give yourself such a hard time. As long as this doesn't become a pattern - and I don't think it will - it's just a blip. We all make mistakes, and hopefully we learn from them.
You'll get over this and the break up with your ex. Be patient and kind to yourself.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Lol typical. Relax doll. U were upset ur emotions drove ur decisions. Do not let them. Learn from this. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Eh chalk it up to a learning experience.
You only slept with 1 guy - 1 time.. It doesn't make you a slut. So stop trying to label yourself and stop beating yourself up.
Learn from this. When you consume alcohol, sometimes common sense goes out the window and you would do things you might regret. So... do NOT drink more then 1 -2 drink (you can still have fun even if you aren't plastered).
Let your heart mend from the break up, but don't try and fill that void with random sex, it won't make you feel better.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Why would you feel ashamed? You're single, and you had a ONS with ONE person, that gives you a grand total of sleeping with 2 people in your life, that doesn't make you a s^^^ at all.A lot of people get drunk and do stupid things. You made a mistake, you're only human.Don't use getting drunk as a solution to getting over your heartbreak though, no matter how much you drink its still gonna be there in the morning.Time is the greatest healer and you will get over it, trust me, just don't use parties as a filler!Good luckxx
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