A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had sex last year, but my bf ditched me.. Ima going to get married next year to someone else and I don't want my husband to know that i'm not a virgin. That was the only time I had sex, tilll now i dint get physical with anyone. All I want to know that is there any cream or medicine to tighten my vagina and make it feel as if we're doing it for the first time. Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): As an Indian I am sure that no one accepts you, if you tell him initially but even if you hide it and never tell also there is problem because after some days or some years of marriage if he found you that truth then it will be more dangerous then initially telling. so better be open initially but one thing is acceptable for few men, if you were forced for sex or raped by someone forcefully & husband also has the sexual past history then he might accept, there are chances but condition is you need to find a really loving husband then only it is all possible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Thank you all for commenting on my post and Special thanks to "Chigirl". You guessed it right, I'm from India and the guy my folks want's me to marry is from a very conservative family. Though he's not that bad, but still virginity is a real big issue and cause of my failure in my previous relation, my parents are pretty against the love marriage idea. If my future hubby would have been someone I personally know, then for sure I'd have told him about my virginity, but as it's an arrange marriage , I don't wanna take any risk cause I've already hurt many people and cant bare to hurt someone else anymore. I know, starting a relation with a lie is not a great thing to do, but that's the only option left for me and i feel sometimes somethings are better left untold.Again thanks for all the advices ..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 I'd advice everyone to check the nationality of the question asker before answering. It could prove helpful. To my knowledge India practices arranged marriages, where love has little and nothing to do with a marriage. This is about status, why else would her virginity be of such importance.
Now, for all you people in the West who have love-marriages, my advice for you is to be honest with any boyfriend you have and never lie. But in this case I suspect we're talking of an arranged marriage.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Are you kidding me!! You would lie to your husband? thats very wrong and dishonest. Be true to him, hes giving you his life and commitment. Marriage is not a game its real and if he finds out you will hurt him really bad. He will never trust you again and your marriage will go down hill and never be the same. If he really loves you he will except you, tell him the truth. Im a man who was lied to by his wife and i have three children now with her. You have no idea what hurt i have been through and we always fight and are marriage will never be the same and are innocent children have to live with this because of her big lie..
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Is your future husband a virgin himself? If he has had sex, then he will be able tell with the lack there of blood from your hymen which you have broke. Now, if he's still a virgin and hasn't a clue what to expect when it comes to sex then you'll be fine.
Be careful, if you live in one of those countries where they actually check the bride to be's hymen to see if it is intact.
Also note, it's not exactly a great idea to start a marriage based off of a lie.
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A
female
reader, LittleMissy  +, writes (25 January 2011):
You should just be honest with him, it's kind of disrespectful to start the marriage on a lie and it's sure to bounce back in your face.
If he can't accept the fact your not a virgin, then maybe he doesn't love you as much as you thought.
But take my advice and don't lie, if he finds out then why should he believe you it was only the once? Because you already lied, so that makes you completely untrustworthy.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 January 2011):
I think that your vagina will still be very tight even if you had sex, as long as you did it only once. However you might not bleed since your hymen is no longer there. Although, you CAN still bleed if you are very tight and the penis stretches you out too much and actually cause you to bleed.
You could also do muscle exercise to tighten yourself down there. You know when you pee and then stop the flow of the urine? That same muscle you can work out to get even tighter. If you do for example 10 pinches at a time, 3 times a day, that will be a very good workout for that muscle.
If your husband isn't convinced that you are a virgin you might try and say that you are loose because you have been masturbating.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (25 January 2011):
 If you haven't had sex in a year, and you only had sex once even then, you already feel like you did your first time. The ONLY difference is that you don't have a hymen now. Many women break their hymens without sex anyway (riding a horse, playing sports, etc) so that's not a good indicator of virginity. Regardless, you cannot replace your hymen without surgery. Otherwise though, you're no different than you were before and are NOT any looser.
Are you sure you want to begin your marriage hiding things from him, though?
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