A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I recently split up from my boyfriend of 11 years and a couple of months ago I ran into an old friend who was in a similar position. We went for a couple of dates and very quickly ended up in bed. For me this was partly because I was trying to deal with the split from my ex but also because I have always had strong feelings for this other guy, even whilst I was with the ex. We both agreed that sleeping together was a really bad idea due to rebound issues, it being WAY TOO soon for both of us to get into new relationships and he had been very hurt so couldn't deal with anything other than friends. Friends seemed like a much better idea. Then about a week later I bumped into him on a night out and after one too many we ended up in bed again. Clearly the next morning it was apparent that we both knew this shouldn't have happened. I told him that for me it was because I did have feelings for him, but that I was ok with the fact he didn't want a relationship as I understood his reeasons but still thought he was a fool for not wanting to give us a try. But now I feel as though he blames me for what happened (it takes two to tango!)and that he thinks it's really damaged our friendship. Should I try and keep the friendship going or is no contact the best bet. I really don't want to lose him completely from my life - we have known each other for 18 years and I would hate to for him to think badly of me.
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female
reader, Legioness +, writes (6 March 2009):
 As you said it takes two to tango, but maybe for the time being it'd be best to spend some time apart, cos who's to say you two won't end up sleeping together again next time you see eachother? Which will most likely end up with you being more emotionally attached to him, which could really screw you both up. So give it some time, then just try to behave yourselves and be friends, you never know where it could go in time :)
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