A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello im a 27 yr old female with no kids and have been trying for the past 3 years to consieve with my boyfriend soon to b husband.he gotten in some trouble and had to go to prison at which time i had a lil affair. Now im pregnant and dnt kno if i should tell mt boyfriend or have a abortion..i truly want to be with my boyfriend but dont kno if hell except me and a baby, because i dnt want anything to do with the fling.....will he under stand...be hurt.....i dnt kno....need advice badly.....im hurt , scared, happy all in one plzzzzzzzzzz.help.......
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male
reader, Blackjack2592 +, writes (30 December 2010):
Isn't it funny how women come down on men for being "dogs", yet stand by a woman who does the same grimy thing?
The onus should not be on the imprisoned boyfriend -- the onus is on you as a woman who cheated! Saying that it's the boyfriend's fault you opened your legs one night because he was in jail is like saying a man robbed a jewelry store because his child needed milk and diapers! One thing doesn't justify the other.
If your husband accepts what you did, and chances are he won't, then good for him. If he kicks you to the curb, he's perfectly within his rights -- if he couldn't trust you while he was locked up, how the hell can he trust you in the future?
People need to stop trying to ignorantly justify grimy behavior, whether it's by a man or a woman!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): abortion is not a dirty word, so please get one asap. i have more respect for women who terminate than for ones having untimed/unwanted kids then making their lives miserable. you cheated, now you are pregnant. instead of trying to have this kid and mess up your entire life do the honorable thing and terminate. i think you will be asking for a lot to have your bf accept this baby. having an affair is one thing having a constant reminder of its existence is just plain cruel...........to your bf. next time when difficluties arise in your life instead of sleeping away your problems learn to have more self control. just because your bf is in prosin doesn't make him a bad person. i wonder what is worse having issues with the law, doing time or cheating. you be the judge. i think you are expecting too much from your bf, don't you. yes you made a mistake but having an "unwanted" kid is not the answer. you want nothing more to do with the kids father, do you just expect your bf to daddy this kid and pay for it for what 18 years. be realistic and act smart. as i said before, abortion is not a dirty word.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx guys...but dnt kno what to do.....
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A
female
reader, Blanket +, writes (11 January 2010):
Have your baby! Come clean. Don't get rid of your baby. Your baby is your blessing and didn't asked to be conceived. Are you crazy? You were seriously thinking about aborting the baby b/c of another man. Oh well, you made a mistake but your baby ain't no mistake. Do you know how many women can't have babies and you trying to get rid of yours....Girl please, that man will just have to understand or get the heck on. If you get rid of that baby, you will never forgive yourself and that's a promise. You will never forget how you aborted your baby and always will feel guilty. Who is to say you and your prison friend is going to make it anyway in the future. Go baby shopping and get the baby's room ready... Congrats 2 u!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): Well, he's your boyfriend and apparently you still consider him your partner, so, since you are a couple, you should consult with him the upcoming baby. He cannot really fault you as he was in prison and unavailable. You really shouldn't have had the affair but he shouldn't have been in prison. Nevertheless, it happened and a baby is due. If he does not want the baby and you are happy with that decision you can carry the baby to term and give him up for another loving family to take care of him or her. There is no need to abort it. Perhaps, he will want to make the baby his own. A baby can bring so much joy to your family.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): Tell him and come clean if its meant to be it will endure if not then it will fall apart . remember you are only human and mistakes do happen. just dont let them become a repeat. good luck with your situation.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Im not a fan of lying or abortion, i would suggest come clean tell him the truth if he doesnt stand by you still then hes not the one, if your gonna be with this guy and he cant get by something like this your future with him will be bleak.
your bound to face mutch more hardship in your relationship if this guys the one hell hang in there through the good and bad.
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