A
female
age
41-50,
*ani28
writes:Hi,So here goes a long story.Ive been married for 9years, about two yrs ago things started to go a bit stale, my husband and i did very little together, it felt like we were living separte lives, anytime i tried to discuss it he would just say i was being stupid and it would be swept under the carpet. My husband is a very good man, deep down a good person, however he has a fiery temper almost to the extent where i have been frightened on occasions during rows etc, he would throw things, say very hurtful nasty things about me, rarely he would apologise. Last year i bumped into and old male friend from high school, at one time we were very close, i began to develop feelings for him(sorry i thought they were feeling) we ended up having a quick affair, he made me feel like i was attractive, he showed interest, however it wasnt long before i realised this wasnt what i wanted, it ended quickly. My husband doesnt know about this, because i dont know what he would do and i really dont want to hurt him, im trying to best to regain what once was a good marriage. Im scared hes going to find out, really dont want to hurt him, but im riddled with guilt, please help me?
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female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Don't tell your husband about the affair. NOOOO! You could put yourself at physical risk if you told him about THIS... Especially if he throws things when he looses his temper over smaller issues. THAT in itself is an example that things could be worse over larger issues.
Whether you decide to stay with him or not, is of course your decision. You already know in your heart what you want to do.
Forget about guilt. Just don't do it again. If you want to be with someone else, then leave your husband, and THEN find someone else. Use your head girl, and be careful.
Take Care xoxoxo
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 July 2008):
Your husband is being abusive to you. Just because he's never hit you doesn't mean it's not abuse.
He's making you scared of him and saying horrible things. It's no wonder you fell into the arms of another man.
I would not tell your husband about the affair. There is no telling what he will do and it's not worth the risk. I would leave him though and tell him he needs to get anger management and marriage counselling before you'll come home.
Good Luck!! xx
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