| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 18 and I had a medical abortion. My bf doesnt seem to care that we killed the baby but i am depressed about it, what should i do to get back to normal?And how should i get some emotion / thoughts out of my bf about the pregnancy.
View related questions:
abortion, depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (30 January 2006):
 zabadacks response was truley not something you should have to take in,
it you had of kept the baby , you would not of been "forcing it on him" , it takes 2 to tango and he was as much responsible for the conception of the baby as you were!
if a man dosent want a baby then the only steps he has a right to take to prevent it are beofre its concieved and this should be enough for any man if he dosent and the girl gets pregnant then the noone forced him into that situation .
just because a girl can choose to have an abortion it does not mean that a man can rely on this as family planning because if the girl says no then he cant do anything about it!
basically if a guy gets a girl pregnant then its his fault too and the girl has not forced that baby onto him!
and zabadack how can you say that it was just tissue that is not a baby yet , you dont know anything about this girls abortion, an abortion is an extremely difficult thing to do!
i had to have an abortion once and it is a really hard thing to deal with , maybe your boyfriend is like my husband who would rather keep it all locked up, maybe you need to sit down with him and talk through what happened with him and how its upsetting you, maybe he will start to open up, maybe he dosent fully understand whats happened maybe you could explain to him better so that you can get through it together
i really feel for you ,its not something that is easily talked about if your boyfriend wont help you through this find someone you can talk to that you can trust
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionU know Zabadack maybe he didnt really care for our child. But ty to u all for all ur comforting words, i truly appreciate it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006): I can really feel for you hun,
I went through the same just over a year ago and it tore me up over what happened, but you have to learn to accept the reasons you chose for the abortion. Unfortunately, because men don't feel involved in the process they can easily shut themselves off and move on without a thought, even though we are left with the guilt. It doesn't make him a bad person, but it will help you if you can tell him how you feel and ask for his support in return.
Although you may always feel a degree of upset and guilt, please believe me that it does get easier and sometimes it takes something like this to make you realise everything else good you have in your life now and in the future.
Take care xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006): I don't agree with the response from Zabadack that was kinda rude.Anytime a girl has to make a decision like that it is so hard I know how you feel. In time you'll learn to deal with it but everything happens for a reason and maybe you need to learn a lesson from this like safe sex especially with someone like him. He should at least understand that it is an emotional expierence which some guys will never understand the emotional attatchment you have All I can say is don't make this a form of birth control it obviously was an aweful expierence so use protection and try to make sure the next time your gonna have a baby make sure its with a man who cares about you cause if you think you were emotional then wait until you are pregnant for nine months you'll want a guy who is understanding.Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, digitallysick +, writes (7 January 2006):
 I think he should care more, it is a big issue, did you both agree to do this??
...............................
A
male
reader, Zabadack +, writes (7 January 2006):
He probably doesn't care to be honest. it's a simple procedure to remove some tissue that's not a baby yet.
he's not ready to have a child, what did you want him to do? have the child and hate you for forcing it on him in years to come? he's not pleased you're upset obviously, but don't expect him to cry about a baby he wasn't ready for. that operation probably feels like relief to him.
...............................
|
