A
female
age
30-35,
*exxiylove
writes:hello all. I've been going through a hard time and i just need advice from people out there that have gone through the same thing i have. I don't want to hear how much of a bad person i am and how i'm worthless ect. thanks. but anyway, about three weeks ago i went and had an abortion. one of the worst things i've ever had to deal with in my life. i've always been against them, but i'm young and my boyfriend just isn't ready for a child maturity reasons and what not. He really wanted an abortion and i couldn't deal with it. but i did for him and so he can go to college. i always feel like i did it just for him and i lost something so important to me and i lost a little bit of my heart. i'm trying to cope alone and i'm coming to realize it's just way to hard and i really need some advice from someone who has dealt with it. So if anyone is out there and is listening please help me it would mean the world to me. please and thank you.
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female
reader, Gokmen.B  +, writes (3 May 2012):
Your certainly not a bad person for having an abortion many people have abortions these day so don't feel guilty.I fell pregnant last summer I had been with my boyfirend 4 years but I was only 16 we were engaged and living together and we are very happy but his mum said we should get an abortion as he hadn't finished university and we didn't have that much money. Now still to this day I think it was the wrong idea I wish I had never done that to our baby now I am feel really down and really want a baby. what you did wasn't a terrible thing to do so please don't beat yourself up inside I know how difficult it is I had an abortion 9 months ago my baby would be due now and I still get down about it but my finace said there are other oppitunities in our lives.My advice maybe try and talk to him about how down you feel about the abortion and maybe plan a time thats best to think about having a baby together I know how bad you feel now but you can't change the past look to your future together. Hope everything goes well for you 3
A
female
reader, Lexxiylove +, writes (6 December 2011):
Lexxiylove is verified as being by the original poster of the question missking- the anonymous writer was me.
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A
female
reader, Lexxiylove +, writes (6 December 2011):
Lexxiylove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionkirra07- thank you so much for making me think that way. i know i'm going to be okay. but it's so hard for me. i don't have anyone to talk to and i'm trying to cope alone. my family doesn't know but my mom. i'm doing horrible in school, my boyfriend does not care one bit. i recently told him about me wanting to get a tattoo for the child and i wanted him to get one too, and his response was "i don't need one because i'll never forget it". he acts as if the whole thing never happens. it hurts. but i'm so happy i've meet someone who understands.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Missking, thank you so much for being supportive. If you don't mind me asking how old are you now and about what age did you realize you were okay with things? I appreciate you being here for me and being so positive.this is Lexi by the way. I didn't log onto my account.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (5 December 2011):
I went through a similar thing as well. Had an abortion when I was 23. Both me and my boyfriend were not in the best situation to support a child yet. And it was devastating. Even now when I think of it, I will sometimes get quite upset and cry a little. It doesn't seem possible, but I loved it. What gets me through it is that I could have had it, but wouldn't have been able to give it a good life. I don't know if I would have been able to finish school, get a good job, finance it's education, etc etc. And with the strain of a baby, our relationship might not have worked and the baby would have been born to a split household. I'll always hold a little piece of her (I think of it as a her) in my heart, and a little regret for my choice, but I have to look forward to the future. I will have children in the future and will love them and appreciate them and take care of them extra hard for her.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2011):
 you are not worthless or a bad person and anyone who thinks that or says it to you is wrong. so STOP thinking that you are worthless or bad. you are probably your own worst critic.
do your parents know? if not maybe at least talk to mom if you can? if not I would call the place you had the abortion and ask for support and couseling.
I am so sorry you had to make a choice this serious at such a young age without support and felt like you had no say in it only the boyfriend's needs mattered.
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A
female
reader, missking +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Well i did the same thing wen i was seventeen, it is hard to deal with n i went thru alot of pain befor i accepted it, hun you are going to go thru grieving, u will be sad n then u will be angry n then finally u will accept. It wont haunt u forever n personally it was one of the best decisions of my life n i believe u made the right choice. I also believe that u didnt just do it for him because u would have never done it, just look at the positive side of it n not the what u find to be negative about it. P.s. u can always talk to me n i know how hard it is, i went thru it by myself too n my family would always throw it on my face n that had just made me feel even worse.
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A
female
reader, Little Bunny +, writes (5 December 2011):
I have always been prolife however when my 18 year old daughter came to me to say she was pregnant and decided to terminate. I was heartbroken - for her - for the baby - for the loss. My daughter was just starting college and on an antiseizure medicine that she was told not to get pregnant while taking due to birth defects. I supported her in her decision - as it was hers to make. I would have supported her whatever her decision was - because I love her. However, every November, I am sad about that loss - what was my first grandchild. I never tell her. I know she is still grieving.Take the measures to never have another unplanned pregnancy and most importantly - forgive yourself. You did what you thought was best at the time. If you regret that decision - accept it as a mistake - that it cannot be changed now but when you are ready to be a mother - you will try to be the best mom you can to that child.
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