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anonymous
writes: I'm a man and I have fallen in love with a man. Nearly a year ago I fell in love with a man. I don't know how or why it happened! I wish it didn't but it did. We shared some intimate moments but nothing really happened. They guy has 3 kids but was seperated at the time. Now he is back together with his partner and I am left thinking about him everyday & I miss him greatly. I don't know what to do! Its been 4 months since I last saw him and I have tried to move on but 4 some reason I keep thinking of him day & night, even in my dreams. I am truly cursed.
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reader, purple_angel +, writes (3 June 2005):
I think you have to ask yourself was it him you missed or was it that fact that you were in an exciting new relationship???
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (13 May 2005):
 I know it's very hard to get over someone you care about, and this is probably even more so, since you had intimacy without a physical relationship, so you're probably tortured with "what ifs".But, gay or straight or something in between, this is the same circumstance many people have to deal with: a romance that doesn't go to plan.You know you have to get over him. He's back with his partner (am I right in assuming he's in a straight relationship?), and he has three kids, which are probably theirs together. It's just really unlikely that he's ever going to be free to pursue what you started, even though it felt special and good at the time. You need to remind yourself of this. The reason it's so hard to let go of, is that you don't really want to; you keep hoping that he'll come back to you. Recognise that, if he was going to, it would have happened. Then tell yourself you have to let that fantasy go.You also need, at some point, to deal with deciding on your own sexual preferences, which must be very confusing for you. Perhaps you can speak to someone who is trained in counselling and work out in your own mind whether you were attracted only to him, or to men, generally, and whether you're straight or bi or gay. Then you need to find someone who's free to have a relationship with you.Try to think of your future and not the past. Eventually, you *will* get over this and you'll be able to think about the good aspects you had, without the painful longing.Hope it works out.
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