A
female
age
30-35,
*eeponsmiling
writes:I've put off asking this for a very long time, wrote it all out and deleted it, as I thought it was stupid to ask. But I cant make a decision. I fell out with my male best friend a couple of months ago. For good reason, and have done my utmost to keep him out of my life. And I want it to stay that way. Of course I still care.. and then there's my question. Its his twenty first in the next couple of weeks. Do I be civil and wish him a happy birthday? Or do I just leave it? I don't want to speak to him but at the same time I know I'll feel bad if I decide not to. Mainly due to the fact he made the effort to wish me mine, whilst in a different country. But at the same time I actually don't think he'll care if I do, it hasn't exactly bothered him not speaking for the past two months or so, help? I know it might sound stupid but I can't come to a decision. Thank you.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 I am with Caring Guy.
You say that you have done your best to keep him out of your life, and with good reason. If this is what you have decided to do ( keeping him out of your life ) then be consistent ! Sending a card gives a mixed, deceptive message, it's like you'd be extending an olive branch.. but you don't really want to follow trough, so why sending the card to begin with.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 October 2011):
I think to send him a card is to send him a message that you want to talk to him. And you know you don't want to talk to him, so it will then make you look like a tease, or someone who is two-faced even if you're not.
If you don't want to speak to this guy and you have good reason, then don't send him a card. You might feel guilty, but it's a lot better than sending a card, giving him some sort of wrong message and having that come back and bite you.
You don't want to speak to him, so let him go and don't send a card or anything. It'll send the wrong message, and people might think you're just out to hurt him/use him/tease him/get attention.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 Send a card wishing him a happy birthday then you don't have to speak to him but will put to rest any feelings of guilt.
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