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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello I have been seeing a guy for the past 6 weeks and have spent loads of really good times together - lots of dates and fun times. He split up with his wife last July after she cheated many times and they have 2 children together, I know he wont get back with her. I really really like this guy and can feel myself falling for him more and more - he is perfect to me. Problem is I feel like im a secret, he tells me to be patient and that I am perfect for him etc etc but I feel like he wants me to say were not a couple in public.. at what point do you become a couple? He wants me to go on holiday with him next month but im starting to worry im gonna fall for him so bad and get hurt... Do you think I wasting my time?? I know its only ben 6 wks but I have liked him forever.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your advice - they have definately split... he has bought a house for himself since and been to the solicitors - i stay his house not their house. I know you are all probably right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Sounds like this guy should have a big warning label girl! I'd have to wonder if he's still working on getting back with his wife and your just a booty call for now. Is he still married to her? I suppose you can go on holiday with him but don't get to attached and just have a good time.
Afterward, I would tell him (if he's still married) that he has to divorce her if he wants you as your not gona be his undercover girl anymore. I'm betting when you tell him this it will be hard to see him for the dust as he runs away! Sorry, but I also smell a Big Rat, him!!!!! Oh, and for God's sake use a condom as who knows how many other undercover girls he has besides you.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 May 2009):
This sounds very dodgy. It's fine asking you to be patient but he can't keep you like that forever.
Go on holiday and have a great time and then on the last day tell him you don't want to be a secret any more and you want to be his real girlfriend.
Tell him you want him to tell his kids by the end of the month and if he doesn't then move on.
You can't let yourself fall for him until he "comes out" as it were.
Protect yourself.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): well six weeks is a very less time 2 know a person...what u kno about his spilt is his part of story which may be or may not be true. so dont trust that guy completely and try 2 get information bout him through ur mutual friends. if hes really slitting wid his wife who knows that hes left her...hn i dont see any reason he shud keep ur relationship a secret...personally i smell rats...good luck
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