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I ended the friendship because of his dishonesty..so why do I feel so low about it all?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 May 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2009)
A female Germany age 41-50, anonymous writes:

What to do when the EX-boyfriend still lies to you? Why is it so difficult to be just be honest and upfront? I'd told him last year he needn't get back in touch till he was ready to be honest. Well, he did- but the lying still continues. WTH-- we haven't been together for a year and a half- so why lie to me even now? How can you build any sort of friendship with a man who continues to be dishonest? I told him off last night- have had enough and I do not need to make an effort being friends with someone who simply refuses to be honest with me. That's the least I expect from my friends and he's been an exception for far too long. We broke up cause he'd been lying and cheating earlier- don't know why I let him convince me we could even be friends. I know I did the right thing, so why do I feel so low?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009):

Probably because all your efforts to make an honest man of him have failed miserably. It would be useful to know what sort of things he lies about, for instance, is he seeking attention by exaggerating or is he simply being dishonest?

Don't worry though - today is the first day of the rest of your life, so make the most of it. You can't change the past but you can shape your future. Make it what you want it to be.

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A female reader, say_anything United Kingdom +, writes (4 May 2009):

say_anything agony auntthere's nothing you can do to stop people lying. unfortunately some people just can't seem to stop, no matter how much trouble it causes. until he realises he is ruining things for himself through his dishonesty there's not a lot you can do, i'm afraid. he obviously isn't the sort of person who can face up to his problems or deal with things maturely.

try not to trouble yourself with fighting for this friendship while he continues to act this way - distance yourself and make it clear you do not need or intend to put up with this. you can't have any kind of good relationship with someone who lies until they are prepared to sort it out. maybe a break from each other would be best.

best wishes.

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