A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I have such a big problem and its really getting to me :(I am totally head over heels for this guy at my school. He is STUNNING!! He's in the year below me...but thats not the thing which bothers me.I see him looking at me ALL THE TIME!! If he is by himself or with maybe one other person he will take small glances at me every so often....i mean i do the same to him. The thing is...he has a girlfriend!!I dont know if he's bi, straight or gay...but its really confusing. I want him to like me but i just cant understand him. Does he like me? or does he like his girlfriend? or does he like us both?Ive never spoken a word to him (LOL stupid i know) but i really do like him.Another thing though...is that i could never openly tell him how i feel because if he didnt feel the same...then my school life would be RUINED because no-one knows im bisexual.GRR!!! i just wish i could understand. This is my last year at school and would LOVE to get to know him. But there is no way to get to know him. We have nothing in common that i know of...hes in the year below me...and adding him on facebook would be kinda creepy seeing as he sees me looking at him too.i neeeeeeeeeeeeeed help!! :'(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): Dearest Anon (aka Ducky),
I think the confusion you experience has more to do with your own self- acceptance, your comfort with being who you truly are in the small world you have known, than with getting with Mr. Gorgeous.
We are unsure of Mr. G's definite returned interest in you, but we know he has a girlfriend. He is therefore only distant- eye- candy until his relationship state changes (then we can work in some more super- sleuthing gay-dar tweaking action).
The best I can offer is that the best of relationships are based on more than appearance alone and that people generally always acknowledge the existence of those who say "hi!". :)
I'm sorry it seems hopeless with this case now, but buck up, Ducks- next year will bring you wide open worlds and lots of accepting new mates and Messieurs Gorgeous!!... if you understand the horrifyingly cheeeeesoiddisgusting truth that acceptance comes first from WITHIN.
But a change of environment helps, too. Try NYC or soCal. Big, open- hearted cities are generally the way to go...
-ta Tante préféréeeeeee, Victoire
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 The best way to find out if he likes you or not is to ask him, or confess how you feel to him. Just because he looks at you isn't enough to go on. He may not like you because he DOES have a girlfriend. If he liked you wouldn't you think he would break up with his girlfriend and start talking to you? Well if adding him on FB or actually talking to him are the only 2 choices you have seeing as this is your last year..you better muster up some courage. Otherwise you'll graduate never knowing.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (22 November 2010):
Her just MIGHT like you.
Do you have ANYTHING mutually in common (classes, clubs sports)??? If so ask him if he wants to study or go to some common event that you have in common.
When he looks at you. Wink/Smile at him - ever so slightly.
He might just be wondering the same thing(s) about you.
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