A
female
age
30-35,
*luffyPie
writes:Hello everyone, I need some help here. There's this guy at my workplace who really likes me. I mean even after I told him I have a boyfriend, he still tells me I'm his type of girl and that he'd love to marry me. At first I thought he was kidding and I got with it and I though ok we're just making fun of it and it's just innocent flirt. But he got more and more serious and I really don't know how to push him away. I mean he buys me coffee, wants to share his food with me, calls me pretty often outside the work schedule just to ask how I am, he texts me, he invited me to see movies...The problem is that there's no way I can avoid him at work, because there's a project where him and I are the only workers on and because of that, we must work in the same office. Just the two of us. So there's no possible way to be split up and each one work for himself. So how do I gently make him understand that I love my boyfriend and that I only want us to be JUST friends ? He simply refuses to back off. He's not the harassing type, he's very kind, but he's too into me and for the first time in my life, I don't like this, I feel like I'm cheating my boyfriend.
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at work, flirt, split up, text, workplace Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): You could mention it to your boyfriend but i don't think it would help in the long run. I think it's best you just tell this guy what you told me. Just politely tell him you're not interested. If all else fails, mention your boyfriend a lot and how great he is etc... He'll get the message.
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (22 November 2010):
FluffyPie is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know it's wrong that I flirted with him, but I didn't think he'll insist even after telling him that I have a boyfriend.
As for the phone number, we all have mutual access to the phone numbers and e-mail adresses, in order to contact each other in case of emergencies.
Anyway, I know I'll have a hard time telling him to bug off, because I'm too coward and afraid of taking responsibility of this situation.
Should I also tell my bf about this?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): Well, i think the first big mistake was flirting along at the start because that's obviously going to send this guy the wrong message. If you had made it clear you weren't interested right from the begining then all this could have been avoided.
He texts you? So, you gave him your number? I think you're acting a little too innocent in all this and have lead this guy on a little bit.
You're just going to have to be honest with him and tell him that you like being friends but that's all.
You can't blame the guy for getting the wrong impression if you have been, however casually, flirting with him.
IF he invites you to the movies, say no. If he asks to share your food, say no. You are letting him buy you coffee and call you pretty.
If you honestly don't like the attention then tell him because you are leading him on.
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