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female
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*onfused:s
writes: I started my new school in September. I love it. There's this really fit boy there. I went out with him, then after a week he dumped me. I don't know what I did wrong. I asked him why and he said I don't know why I did it. I still really fancy him and he fancies me. We are really good friends and I can chat to him like we have been friends for ages and everything. But one of my friends fancies him. He asked her out and she said I don't know. Then he said he didn't want to go out with her because he fancies me. Then he said he fancies me and this other girl, and then the other day, he said he didn't fancy her; he only fancies me and always will. I asked him if he got to rewind time and not dump me would he do that? He said yes, so I'm really confused. What shall I do? I really don't know because I don't want to fall out with my friend for going out with him, but then I love him so much I don't want to turn him down. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, holivia  +, writes (19 March 2010):
Well, by the text that uve posted it sounds like you still really like this boy, so if ur that serious, tell him how you feel, and if you then know that he fancies you back, take it slow, get to know each other better, then start going out, maybe first to the park, or sumin simple. It's normal for people to feel this way, to get in these type of problems. You and him, ask yourself, if i like this boy, am i really ready fpr a proper relationship? answer that question truthfully to yourself and fullfill it. You know you can do it, i know you can do it, so go out there, and do it! Good Luck xoxo :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): well if you realy love this boy maybe u need to be friends before you go out because the sounds of ur line uve only known him for a bit so if u stay friendsjust for a bit u might get to know him for a bit longer but maybe u cnt do that so what i would do if i was you is sit down and tell your friend how much u lovee this guy and if she is a true friend to you she wil understand and move on and fine someone else butthen i would talk to your boyfriend and ask him to make his mind up you orthe other girl u messoined and say u dnt want to be messed around lol
hope you like my advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): seems to me y'all all are confused about who y'all love and want to be with so what y'all need to do is sit down and all talk about the situation and see if y'all can work it all out together and come to a agreement
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reader, ferraro-lisa +, writes (1 January 2006):
to me this guy is acting his way as if he dont know what he wants right now and he is jumoing around from wanting one girl from another. But then again he may be saying he wants you at the end of it but what you dont know is he may be saying the same thing to other girls to. Whay do you know about this guy? can you trust him? these things you have to think about and speak to him alone from his friends and see what he says but dont let him wipe your mind with all the small perfect talk he knows you want to hear. try and see through his charm andsee what you really see about him.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (1 January 2006):
 You might be expecting a little bit too much from a relationship that only lasted a week. It wasn't like you two had been seeing each other exclusively for the last year and had sworn everlasting devotion; you had a date or two and then his interest waned. It's hard to take when you'd rather it continued, yes, but it's pretty ordinary for high school.
What he's done is pretty normal for young boys around the ages of 12-15. Being attracted to girls is all so new that they don't know what they want or how to act, in general, and they're still feeling their way around relationships. You're probably taking his lack of romance 'wayyyyy too hard.
So, as for your being "dumped", I don't think it's likely that it was quite as blunt or clear-cut as that. He might have gone out with you once or twice, then got distracted by school, sport, his friends, family commitments or another girl. Maybe he texted you that he wasn't interested any more, or maybe he just didn't call. That's hardly the same thing as being told, "Our 2-year relationship is over".
So continue to be friends with him and if you wait around another week or two or three, he'll probably ask you out again. At least that's my reading based on his past actions.
Your friend and you can stay friends if you try, because it doesn't sound very much like this boy has the determination (yet) to stay with one girl very long. I suspect that he'll get over is fancying your friend and be ready to move on to another girl (or maybe back to you) in a short time.
As an aside, try not to take dating in high school quite so seriously. It's all meant to be fun and it's too easy to convince yourself that it's a Life or Death predicament. It's not, so keep reminding yourself of that fact.
I know that it feels intensely real and profound right now, but I can virtually promise you that you're not going to end up married to this boy, because relationships from the teen years - statistically speaking - rarely last beyond high school.
Enjoy being friends with him. Don't try to compete with your friend for his attentions right now. Go out with other guys for a while - and since you three are all friends and see each other often - and I feel confident that he'll come back around and ask you out again. Then, when you lots of other, recent experience to compare him to, you can make an informed decision about whether you really want to get serious with a guy whose attitude to girls appears to be "here today, gone tomorrow".
Have fun. Take care.
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