A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there...Well basically I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now and I really love him. We were best friends for about 3 years before we got together.Everything is great now but the start of the relationship was a bit awkward really.One night at the start of the relationship I stupidly went out and got drunk and cheated on my boyfriend with a guy from work. It was only kissing but I now feel awful about it.I never told my boyfriend but I now feel so guilty about it, should I tell him? Its never going to happen again, I wont let myself get that drunk.Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks
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best friend, cheated on my boyfriend, drunk, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): hey it looks like you have learned your mistake but lets take a step back to the kiss. Why in the first place you did it, I mean drunk or not you knew what you were doing, proberly you have an attraction for this guy an you know the feelinf is mitual Now the question is how long are you gonna be living a luy. You tell your current man, things will never be the same again.
A
male
reader, TorontoJohn  +, writes (11 January 2010):
I never liked the "I was drunk" reason for fooling around with someone else. I've heard that myself and what goes through my head is "well, what happens when you get drunk next time?". It should not be an excuse.
That being said, we ALL make mistakes and I believe you that you are going to try to not let it happen again. Problems arise when you hide things in your relationship. I suggest you do tell him and explain yourself. If the roles were reversed, what would you want? That should be your answer.
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A
female
reader, MzRevolutionary  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Right now I agree with what everybody else is saying, BUT, depending on how far your relationship goes it could come back to haunt you. If you get way far down the line and he did something like that and told you, how would you feel knowing he told you and you kept something from him. Would that add on to your guilt? You need to decide how bad it is affecting you, how it could affect the relationship later, and then deal with it. If you can realize you aren't going to do something like that again, are completley able to put it behind you, then just let it go, but if it is really really bothering you, and you see a future with this guy that in some way might get jepordized by withholding, you might want to talk to him about it. If he ever did find out later without you being the one to initiate the conversation he is going to feel betrayed and will be wondering well if you kept something this trivial from me for so long, what else are you hiding. "No baby I promise it just wasn't serious enough to tell you" usually isn't the strongest defense. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): The basic rules are:
Are you hurting him by not telling him?.....NO.
Do you want to tell him so that YOU feel better?....YES
Is this going to hurt him if you tell him?....YES
Do you love him enough to let it go for his sake?....Y or N
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (11 January 2010):
 No, don't tell him. No good will come of it.
If you tell him, he may not trust you in future, and you don't want that do you?
Just see it as a lesson learnt.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (11 January 2010):
 If you really love your boyfriend, I suggest you keep your secret to yourself. What do you gain for telling him? Nothing. And don't let it happen again.
Jeff
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 January 2010):
A relationship should be built upon honesty. But sometimes it it's not in anyone's best interests. It was kiss, when you were drunk. You're sorry, and you won't let it happen again because you won't get drunk again that much. I think on this occasion telling your boyfriend would do more harm than good.
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A
male
reader, lammy  +, writes (11 January 2010):
i think u should tell him... even if u feel uncomfortable, everyone makes mistakes sometime in their life. If you guys really love each other then he should be able to forgive you and you guys should be able to move on after a while. I know that i probably wouldnt want to forgive my gf straight away if she did something like that but then i will eventually. Dont carry the guilty feeling with u for the rest of ur life.
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