| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Dear Aunts. I need serious advice here. I never get cold feet around people but with this one guy I just get weak on my knees. I don't know what to do. I managed to get his number and told him through WhatsApp that I have feelings then stopped seeing him all together. He tried twice to see me and I was on vacation at that time. Ever since I started dating someone else who quickly engaged me then I realized he is not the kind of man I want to be with. He was still texting his exes and inviting some other girls for date nights when I was not around. I loved my ex but I still get cold feet when I think about the guy before my ex. I don't know who could be my soul mate here. My ex was a very adventurous guy and ambitious which is what attracted me to him when he asked me out. He was a charmer but we couldn't stop arguing, we have different ways of doing the same thing but we always end up with the same results. What turned me off was that he was having all this wonderful time with me but still giving other women high hopes of them being together one day. It's like he left all his relationships open with potential of getting back together while he was with me at home. To me that was disrespect so it ended. Now I still think about my ex but there is no guarantee he has changed but I also never stopped thinking about the other guy. I still think of him and we seem to have a lot in common. He is a bit shy but a hard worker. I feel like we need eachother. We almost have the same mind OMG he understands me way better than my ex. Our conversation just flows and we get eachother very well without even communicating. I understand what he is feeling even when he does not discuss it with me. He understands me also and knows what I need. I don't get jealous when he talks to other ladies because he doesn't talk to them the same way he talks to me. He believes in me writing this makes me all emotional. What do I do? Thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 January 2018):
 Honestly I don't think either off these guys are right for you. Your ex is an ex for the reason, the relationship didn't work out so I would suggest moving forwards instead off backwards. Cut all contact with him and move him from your life.
As for the first guy well you led him on and then just ignored him when he wanted to date, so I highly doubt that he is the love off your life. I honestly think that if you and him where meant to be together it would have happened long before now. Maybe you are meant to be friends and that is all. If you think there is a chance then talk to him and tell him how you feel, but you already let him down once so he might not want to go there again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2018): You should love the guy your with.
By continually pitting one against the other you are loving neither.
Your first guy is a fantasy guy.
Your current ex was real but not perfect.
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