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male
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anonymous
writes: Ok me and this girl have been dating a couple months now. At first she said she didn't like getting oral sex. But one night while making out she said I could. Since then she has wanted me to do it almost everytime before we have sex. I have dated quite a few girls and have never got a blow job. I dont think it's fair that she gets oral and I dont. Ive hinted for her to do it and all she'll say is no or I don't do that. But i'm sure she used to go down on her ex boyfriend of 2 years. What can I do to get her to go down on me? Is it wrong of me to want this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): It's not that Im unhappy not getting it. When we are about to have sex she gets all the fore play. She cums usually only after only 3 or 4 minutes after we start realy having sex. Then she always says are you done yet or why havent you came yet. 90% of the time I cant come and then she feels bad when it's not that I don't find her attractive it's all the foreplay is geared towards her and none actually turns me on.
A
female
reader, coolerpdx +, writes (9 September 2006):
If your unhappiness with not getting oral in return is affecting your emotional relationship, then tell her what it means to you. Explain that you need to feel appreciated in return. You may have to accept that she is not going to do it. That aside, the real aspects of a relationship are the trust, acceptance & accountability you give each other. You have to trust that she wants to please you and is doing the best she can. You accept that it may not meet your every expectation. Both of you are accountable to the relationship. Oral is great, but it shouldn't keep you from having a fulfilling relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): this is a tough question to answer but you probably dont no how many othere couples are not actually getting what they want in the bedroom.maybe she doesnt feel very comfortable or doesnt like the idea.but as you give oral sex to her slowly start talking about what you want her to do and maybe she will get turned on if not then you need to just say that you want pleasure during sex aswell.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): No, it isn't wrong of you to want oral. One thing you must not do is pressure her into something she really doesn't want to do; quite a apart from being wrong it is likely to turn her off if she is feeling pressured.
Perhaps the relationship is too new for her to consider doing it just yet or maybe she is not sure of how you like it. If the latter is the case, then let her know what you like and try to be encouraging and reassuring if she lacks confidence in that area.
It would be as well to find out tactfully why she won't do oral and then you can work from there. If she really won't do oral at all, then you will have to respect her wishes as unfair as that might seem.
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