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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello, I'm the sister of someone on here and this site looked nice so I thought I'd try it out!I've just got a question, mainly for men I suppose. I'm currently dating a guy who is eight years older than I. We were friends for years, the relationship is fantastic, couldn't ask for better. We've had ups and downs and weathered it, and I truly believe he's the man I want to marry.Thing is, I'm still young. Only nineteen, twenty in a few days. And I've always wanted to get married young--at around 23 or 24. I just want to be done with college and a bit settled with a job beforehand.I'm just worried for my boyfriend. I figure by the time I'm ready to marry, he'll be 31 or 32. And I'm afraid that's too long for him to wait. I don't know the statistics of men and the ages they get married at, but I'm worried that he'll feel like I'm holding him back.I'm asking on a website instead of him because I know he'd never give me a straight answer. He'd just automatically say "No, I'll wait for you, you're not holding me back."So I'm asking the guys here, or women with this kind of experience...do you think asking him to wait a few more years for marriage is inconsiderate? Do men typically wait until their 30s to marry?Sorry if this sounds a bit juvenile. I'm just a little concerned with it. Thanks all! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): He sound old enough to be honest enough with you and your concerns. Why wouldn't you just trust him?
Tell him your life plans; or you should have already and this shouldn't be new knowledge to him.
He will be supportive of you so continue with your life plan.
I'm sorry, but haven't you told him all of this those few years back?
Both of you need to sit down at a table together and write down your lifeplans and goals. See if the match up and then discuss what you are both willing to do to make a WE lifeplan.
Best of Wishes.
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