A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I have a relationship question. I've been with my bf for a year but we've been having sex since the beginning(I knew him for a long time I knew I was ready). I have also been giving him oral sex. Befor me he went out with a girl that was 7 years older than him and that was the 1st girl he ever gave oral to. I do it for him all the time and he's never returned the favor, and at 1st I was okay with that cz I know he's a germaphob, and im not exactly excited about a guy being between my legs like that. But now I kinda want him to, and I asked him how come he never did it for me(via text) and he has not replied at all. I would of been ok if he said im not ready yet or something but he completely ignored me. I haven't written back to him, and don't plan to, but im so mad and hurt. Im not a hoe I don't sleep around so why won't he do it for me. Does it mean that he really doesn't love me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): Hi girl; don't allow this guy to effect your self esteem or self confidence; Remember life is give and take; if he only wants to receive.....Sorry!
Don't contact him again, wait for his response; if nothing; vow.....get out there find a guy who will care enough to share in life's pleasures; remember what I am saying to you: GIVE AND TAKE;
Have fun; enjoy!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): If he's too afraid to give... he's to afraid to receive.
So refuse to go down on him unless he goes down on you first. And ONLY if he goes down on you first.
Speaking as a guy... it is extremely strange that any man (less they be gay) would refuse to go down on a woman.
So give him the ultimatum or find someone else (by which I mean break up first) who will give you what you crave and who craves the same.
Sex is a two way street and both parties should be equally satisfied and control should not be in eother hands but shift from one to the other periodically.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): I had the same problem a few months ago. I was willing to give my boyfriend oral. At the beginning i only did it because he wanted me to but i grew to enjoy it. I have done it maybe four times and he never once gave me oral. Its a bit of curiosity with me because i never had it before. I just told him that i did it for him because i knew how much he wanted it and i wanted to please him. I would like oral and even though i knew he wouldnt like giving it, its not like i was excited at the thoughts of giving it to him.He now understands and even admits now that he was selfish. Maybe you could try something along those same lines.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (28 June 2008):
I understand that you feel hurt. But just because he wont give you oral does not mean he doesnt love you. Thats like a guy saying to you 'if you loved me, you would have sex with me'...that is so not true.
There must be some reason why he isnt. I understand that the fact taht he gave it to his ex gf and not you may be making you feel like there is something wrong with you. And thats why you're taking it personally.
But there could be loads of reasons that arent persnal towards you. For example maybe he never enjoyed giving it to his ex gf, maybe she pressured him into doing it. So if he thinks you dont mind not geting it, then he might not bother.
I dont think that you sending him a text asking that questio nwas a good idea. You should save those sorts of topics when you can talk about it face to face.
You could send him another text asking if he got your previous text, or you could ask if you could meet up. Or you could phone him to chat.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 I don't think the fact that he doesn't give you cunnilingus means he doesn't love you. Some people are not into this sexual practice.
However, I think there should have been an honest and open conversation about this.
By the way, you're private parts are not dirty and his being a "germaphobe" would be no excuse. I am sure he kisses you, and any mouth, dear poster, has a lot of microorganisms happily living there. Sometimes more than many other body parts.
You're doing the right thing in not calling him. Wait for him to respond.
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