| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I think my friend's husband is interested in me, and I'm not sure what to do. Never happened to me before!I've caught this man staring at me(ok-once or twice)in the last few weeks, and now I find out from my friend that he's unhappy in their marriage and wants a trial separation.Despite their troubles, they insisted on joining us for dinner a few nights ago. Well -- it was interesting to say the least. He teased me non-stop, and basically kept chucking bits of bread at me all night! Then, when my friend asked for my cell phone # for her new phone, he took it down too. It was like being in grade school again! There were other bizzare/silly things/comments going on too, but you get the picture.Problem? Our families are (still!)going away on holiday next week, which means a protracted length of time spent together. When I spoke of my interest in a tour to the local town (which my spouse and friend said they weren't interested in), he said he'd come with me.Am I just imagining an interest on his part and if not, what should I do? Feign ignorance?Help!
View related questions:
friend's husband, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 March 2006):
 Tell your husband. He will be happy you were able to see what this guy was up to. It will make him feel confident about your marriage. It seems a little attention feels good, especially to peopel who have been married for a while but it sounds like this guy might be fishing for something. Because he hasn't come right out and tried to start something, he can always claim you misread him. You won't be able to prove otherwise either. Tell your ma before he picks up on it too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for both bits of advice.I did speak to my husband last night, but he was totally stunned by the idea that this guy would cross the line with a "friend" (me). To be fair, my hubby also said he's so bad at reading signals/body language that he'd be blind to the fact that anyone might remotely be interested in me "that way"!Hm. Maybe I am reading too much into this man's actions. Or maybe (horrors!)I'm secretly flattered (told hubby that part, too). Anyway we'll be keeping any eye out...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): I disagree. I think if it were me, I'd try to feign ignorance as long as that was possible. When/if your friend's husband does something so overt that you can't pretend it's simply good-natured fun, I think you should still feign ignorance, but in the obvious sort of way. "John - I know you couldn't possibly mean that in the way it sounded. I'm going to step out for some air and then find Tom (your husband). If I see Susan, I'll let her know you're back here, and I'm sure we'll all see each other at dinner."The thing is, your friend's husband has been acting inappropriately, but he hasn't actually made a pass at you. They're having marriage problems as it is; you don't want to do anything to make things worse. So my suggestion would be to minimize the significance of what he's doing. Give him the benefit of every possible doubt - assume he's behaving badly but would never cross any lines. And in the meantime, make it very, very clear to him that even if he wanted to cross some lines, there'd be no opportunity to do so with you.That said, it's probably not a bad idea to discuss it all with your husband. First, he'd be a good reality check. And second, it'll be important for your husband to recognize the situation so that he doesn't inadvertently leave you alone with the creepy guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, addison +, writes (12 March 2006):
 i don't think you should feighn ignorance. I think you should tell your partner what you are thinkiing and feeling. This will allow certainty to your thoughts if they are real. I would go on hte holiday and if the situation comes up where he makes a concrete pass at you you should tell your partner and deal with it then and there. After this I believe you should tell your female friend. If it was you, I am sure you would like to know what your partner was up to. Your friend will be upset, but she will repect you for her honesty.
...............................
|
