A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help! I don't want my boyfriend to lose interest in me.We are both quite different from each other. But as the saying goes; 'opposites attract' - I am very attracted to him and I know for a fact that he is attracted to me too which makes me feel great as I do have issues with my confidence.However, the problem is that I am very nervous around him! I am quite a self-conscious individual, and making an 'impression' is a top priority of mine but I always end up unsatisfied afterwards because I never feel that I meet this criteria. I become so shy around him, but I just want to feel comfortable! There are times when I feel completely at ease, which are amazing because we have such a good connection and get on really well. I also want to stop holding back. Sometimes I get the urge to kiss him out of the blew, but for some reason I stop myself. It's not as though he is going to reject me? so I can't understand why I don't just let myself go and do as I please. It's the same in the bedroom department, we've talked about sex and previously agreed to wait a while. It then got brought up again this morning where he asked me if i'd like to give it a try, to which I replied 'I don't know, i'm undecided' - which is completely untrue because I REALLY DO WANT TO! Everytime I sleep over I bring protection with me in hope that it will happen. However, he really respects me and does not pressure me at all... I know he wants to! but because i'm not speaking up, it just doesn't happen. I am so frustrated with myself. To top it off, I have a fear of talking on the phone! So when he rings me I become incredibly nervous and struggle to make conversation. What can I do? I really want this relationship to work out but I don't want him to get bored of me. It almost feels as though he is putting all the effort into the relationship, I want to give my share! He is an insecure person because he's been hurt in the past, but my behaviour i.e. holding back, is not helping to reassure him how I feel. He really has no idea how much I like him :( x
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male
reader, Kenj +, writes (6 April 2010):
 If your having problems expressing yourself with actions and verbally, why not write him a letter telling him exactly how you feel about him?
Making conversation does not come natural to a lot of people, but when you stop and look at it there are so many topics to choose from, start off by asking him what his day was like, move on to what plans does he have for the weekend. Talk about movies, the weather anything really goes apart from politics, religion, war and past relationships save those topics for now.
Try coaching yourself by looking direct in a mirror whilst thinking of things to talk about, speak out loud to yourself if you need to.
If he loves you as much as you do for him, then the relationship will most likley work out. You should try and find some common ground, yes some opposites can attract but there should be something in common also.
Good luck!
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