A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts and Uncles,I need some advice on beating jealousy and insecurities. I'm seeing a very attractive, very outgoing girl which is the complete opposite to me (I'm very ugly and very shy and no I don't need any sympathy I'm happy being that way). :PMy question is I get really jealous and insecure when my girl talks to other guys. It will be totally innocent (I'll be sitting right next to them) - but it just gripes me that her attention is not on me and I think that if she starts speaking to some confident good looking guy, she will see all my flaws and how perfect they are and run away.I don't want to change who she is (because I love her for who she is) and don't want to put a strain or conditions on the relationship - I just want to get rid of these feelings (the insecurities quickly subside and I get lost in her when we are alone). Any tips on how to beat these feelings when we are out and about would be much appreciated!
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (26 September 2009):
 Spend more time focusing on your own insecurities instead of focusing on her talking to other guys.
A lot of women are just sweet and friendly and outgoing. Its one of the reasons why you love her.
If you trust her, then everything's going to be fine. If you're worried that she's going to see your flaws, and see that other guys are perfect, I have some news for you.
No one's perfect. In fact the more handsome or pretty men and women are, the more likely they're insecure about themselves just like you. They don't want to be used either. So there's a flip side to this coin.
There's a reason why your girl picked you and not someone else. So there should be some very high confidence levels there in her choice. She dug deeper than looks alone which is what a really sensible person would do in the first place.
If you still have some insecurities, and you're close to her emotionally; and she loves you, you can talk to her about this and I'll bet she'll be more than happy to reassure you that she's not after anyone but you.
I could be wrong, but one way to put things to rest is to hear it from her. She's probably got lots of reasons for being with you. People see things in each other that go way beyond skin deep.
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