A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Please help me as I feel as though im going mad. I really like my boyfriend, I guess you could say im in love even though we haven't said that yet. He goes away with work and its not for a major long time but the feelings I have are driving me nuts. Everyone keeps telling me they are normal but I cant take them. The day before he goes I feel sick, cant eat, have panic/anxeity attacks im very very tense and jittery im so emotional all I want to do is cry I cant focus and feel so so down. These feeling last for about a week and by the end of it im a wreck because im running myself into the ground. People tell me to get over it, he will be back soon, pull yourself toghther but I just cant I can feel all of those feelings coming back right now. Its so scary sometimes I really do feel like im going mad. I cant tell him about all of this as I dont want to push him away He is very laid back and chilled about the whole thing I wish I was a lil more like that. We text a few times throughout the day but that can also send me into a panic as if I dont here back from him I begin to worry and panic uncontrolably. Any advice would be great as I just cant cope feeling like this Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): i'm going to have to totally disagree. it is not normal to feel that way when someone goes away for short periods of time. sure, it's one thing to be sad, emotional, and even feel anxious. but only to a certain extent. not to the point where you can't properly function. it seems as though people keep trying to tell you all of these common sense things such as 'occupy your time with your friends' etc, but that's obviously not working for you as i can only assume you've tried that already. sounds to me like you've got some sort of issue going on here that you need to get to the bottom of. maybe some sort of attachment problem? when people have messed up attachment styles either one of two things tend to happen. they are either extremely unattached and distant to anyone and anything. or the opposite end of the spectrum occurs, and they become extremely dependent on the person, and can't function without them. this sounds similar to your situation, as you say that you feel physically sick without him. maybe learning some relaxation techniques could be helpful. you could look those up online, as they are used a lot in counseling settings in order to calm people who have anxiety attacks. or you could maybe even see a counselor yourself if you think it's necessary. because even if you don't stay with this guy, you'll have the same problem with the next guy down the road. so i recommend doing what all you can now, to save your sanity in the future. good luck.
A
female
reader, sugapuff  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 hey hun
i know exactly how your feeling i suffered from panic attacks and thought i was going mad and would never be normal again.
even worst mine happened 4 no reason i couldnt control them!
its nothing to do with how much u love your boyfriend.
your not alone panic attacks are very common!
i got help i went to the doctor crying my eyes out after a week of crying and not been able to sleep he refered me to a psycyatrist and i got help!
ive been on tablets 4 about 3 months now.
im feeling so much better.
my heart really goes out to u i know how horrible it feels and you feel like a crazy person YOUR NOT!!!!!
go to your doctor and get help.
this isnt something you can stop by yourself.
its like any other illness you need treatment!
after a certain length of time feeling anxious the chemicals in ur brain change making it harder 4 you to just snap out of it alot of people dont understand this
which as why there are medications out there to help.
id recommend asking to be refered to a psyciatrist 1st so they can explain ur options.
im goin to be going on an anxiety management course soon myself aswel as taking my tablets!
help is there 4 you and your not alone if you need anymore advice feel free to send me a private message!
hope this helps x
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (19 September 2006):
 I am exactly the same with my man, it is very normal and unfortunately I cannot give you advise on how to stop it because I get the exact same feeling.
I will tell you one thing though you are definately in love with this guy!!!
All I can advise you to do is keep yourself busy when he is away and try and have as many girlie nights as you can so your mind is occupied.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that when you tell him you do love him it will be special
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