A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a LDRMy boyfriend spends a lot of time doing things online, like reading articles, playing games, etc. etcI am fine with that, but it bothers me that I know he's online the whole time but usually doesnt sign in till the evening, at a specific time every day. I feel I have to wait for him, and its frustrating. I dont know how to ask him to change this. I know he needs to have his own pursuits and own space, but this seems silly, especially because of a signifigant time differenceAm I being too needy?Any advice? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Online LDR"s mean one thing and one thing only.
You are afraid, no, terrified of commitment.
What's up with that.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Additional thoughts:Since you asked if you are being too needy...YES.He isnt obligated to have his free time totally open you while he is sitting at the computer. If the time he makes himself available isnt working best for you-log off. When he asks you where you were at 2AM, say "ASLEEP". You dont ask him to change, you teach him to change by your actions. It will start with you changing your thoughts and examining your expectations of this LDR. Do you expect him to chat with you online every night or every time he is on? Since you are in a LDR, no doubt that online time is an important connection to you to keep things "alive". Relax a little and enjoy your life instead of waiting on him. If he asks how come you are not on when he is-gently suggest,"Since ____pm is too late for me, how about ____pm? I would be still be able to think and enjoy chatting with you. Would that work for you?"Do not expect him to adjust to your time schedule all the time, but once in awhile would be a great sign of a considerate bf!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 June 2011):
 i am in an LDR and so is close GF of mine.
my BF and I have two scheduled calls per day... my morning wake up call to him and my bedtime tuck in call to him. all other contacts are unscheduled.
my friends.. they have no contact all day but meet online to skype at 9 pm every night. even if one or the other is available earlier they do it at the same time every night.
is he logging on at a scheduled time and you just want him earlier?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): No your not bieng too needy. your eager to talk to him and you cant wait for him to come online and you need your daily chunk of attention. you are just letting the anticipation get to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Unless he's logging in at a VERY inconvenient time for you every day (like 2 a.m. when you need to be sleeping or in the middle of your workday), really this sounds like a very convenient set-up. You always know when he'll be online to talk. You always know you have a set "appointment," so you know that you're free to do whatever you want until then. Do the same as he does -- do your own fun things and then sign in to talk.
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