| A
age
30-35,
writes: This website is full of people who are upset because they have parted from a lover and want them back, love a girl but they dont feel the same, want to know how to get a girl/boy, regret acting clingy or possessive and pushing someone away.So I want to tell people about a psychological theory called cat string theory.When you take a piece of string and shake it vigorously and tease a cat with it, the cat will try very hard to catch the string and get its claws around it. But when you dont shake the string anymore the cat will loose interest and go to something else.People react in a comparable way. Have you ever had a crush on someone and expressed your feelings to them and they didnt feel the same and said they only saw you as a friend.Or made it clear to a girl or boy that your interested and they didnt express interest back. Or maybe they played mind games with you.That is because if you play mind games with people and keep them wondering if you like them or not. they will be keen for your attention when you get it..The best way to get positive results is to do exactly the opposite to what you think you should do. Sounds wierd but in a break up the person who is broken hearted the most will send emails and call and text thier ex in a plea to get them back... If you didnt contact them at all and moved on. the ex will not like this and come running back. especially if you get an interim lover
View related questions:
a break, crush, text Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): I have to say, as sad as it is a reflection on human nature, I have seen this works.
Girl I was seeing was calling the shots, seemed all self-sufficient, I was getting irritated at her narcissism. Then when I stopped calling her, she began to call me more!
Humans suck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts not ethical but it works. People would rather do this for thier own reasons that are none of my business. All I know that this works and if you want a method that has good chances of working.If you do the right thing and "sit them down and talk to them and tell them how you feel... then your chances decrease because you lower your social value by begging and bieng desperate. So its a case of my way or the highway.But your right its not the most ethical solution but I am a non-conformist, out of the box thinker and I give contraversial advice and opinions that most people are afraid to say.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 loads of people use this tactic, and it will always continue, but i think that is a pity coz i just don't happen to believe that its a very constructive way to get a relationship back. to entice someone back to you by using their poor self esteem (they're bothered that you are not chasing them anymore) and using their jealousy against them (if you have a new partner or their fear that you will get a new partner) you are hurting them so they feel needy enough to come back, and they are hurting you coz they had left but then when they feel you might be getting over them they want to come back into your life. i just don't see how this is mutually respectful.
like i say though, this is quite common behaviour isn't it? and i KNOW that this will never change. i can't help but think its the wrong thing to do though
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou kinda getting the point. Your applying this to yourself and you dont believe this would work on you. which is fine because you sound like an extremely intelligent person. But people who are less knowledgable about social dynamics (which is a fair chunk of people) this would and does and has happened. But i appreciate that for you bieng more intelligent that the rest will see someone for who they are very quickly.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 June 2011):
yes, very true. if someone did not genuinely want me but wanted to see me crawl for their affection and then they decided to reel me back in coz it looked as if i had lost interest in them and met another man, then really i would be better without that person. am i missing the point? for the record though the minute i see an ex of mine with someone new i lose all interest in them, it would never make me feel compelled to want them back.
i guess what i am trying to say is that SOME relationships are just not 'meant to be' and no amount of head games and 'push-pull' behaviours is make it right. very often people don't seem to know when to let go
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes you have got me. Take a step back and dont contact someone who has left you or gone of with someone else.
Sometimes when a break up happens. the other person kinda wants to hurt and torture them for a while. and when people do the chasing it feeds thier ego. I understand that this is not all the time but you must know where I am coming from.
When they secretly want to torture the other person. it is because they hate! which is the opposite to Love... and Hate is still strong feelings. And their chemical
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (7 June 2011):
but that's assuming they had left you because of something you did wrong isn't it? and sometimes this isn't the case. people leave for all kinds of reasons, maybe they have gone off with someone else coz THEY were weak and fancied that other person better. sometimes there are very good reasons for breaking up and it is the right thing to do for both partners (even if one of them doesn't see it at the time coz they are hurt) what you are suggesting seems to be - take a step back and don't chase someone who has left you or is behaving like they don't want to be with you (which is fair enough - better than making a pest of your self) then when you have got their interest again, actually CHANGE yourself to be what THEY want you to be.
yes i agree with you that this technique can work - for some people, but it seems like the recipe for a relationship that is not genuine
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can see the flip side to this. And it is mind games. But its just what works.
Once you got them back how do you keep them interested?...
To answer your question you just have to consider that without using this theory they might not have come back. so your back at square 1. Once you have them back you take it as a second chance to put right the things you did wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (7 June 2011):
is this the same as 'head games' then? you are not wrong lifecoach, it CAN re-ignite someone's interest but i think behaving like that would not make for a very secure relationship if the couple do get back together because of it. it is rather juvenile to get another partner just to make someone who has left you get jealous and want you back. and then what happens to the poor rebound boy/girl when they have served their purpose?
yes cats enjoy the string game, but only for so long then they get fed up with it, and i think the same goes for people too. if you get your ex back by using these measures, how do you keep them interested once they have got you all to them self again?
...............................
|
