A
male
 ,
*akaman
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 10 months and about six months ago she revealed her sexual past. It was tough at first but through counseling and talking to her I have been able to get through it. Most of her past sexual partners she doesn't speak with now but a few are friends of hers. She slept with them after a breakup from her most significant relationship. My problem is that she is still in contact with some of these guys and sometimes she wants to hang out with them. One of her friends, with whom she slept with on a backpacking trip, is still considered a close friend of hers. She has shown me emails they have sent each other and she has hidden nothing. The other guy was a friend she had known for awhile and then ended up sleeping with when she got drunk one night. I recently found out about these two in detail. What bothers me the most is that she is eager to see these guys. She invited one of them to her birthday and made such a commotion when we ran into another at a new years eve party. I get angry when I think about her inviting that guy to her birthday and when she was so enthusiastic about seeing the other one at the party. How can I deal with this anger and depression?Also,is it ok for me to decline going somewhere if any of those two will be present or am I just being a wuss?
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male
reader, Uncle Aneurism +, writes (25 January 2006):
It can be hard to find out that one's girlfriend isn't such the princess. Just remember that her cumulative past experiences make up part of how she is today, and after all of that, she is currently with you.There seems to be an obvious mutual trust in your relationship, otherwise this information would have remained a secret.However, it is obvious that although the trust is there, the respect is not. It is time for you two to start talking about the situation at hand. Ask her how she would feel if you invited your past sexual partners to her events.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): i can imagine its hurtful that she is still in contact with these guys, she should really know better,personaly if i found out my partner was still in contact with any of his ex;s id be very unhappy and threaten to leave if it continued. but because these 2 guys are also her friends and she has had whats sounds like a one night stand with them, maybe she is not intrested in taking it any further and just wants to be friends it could all be totally harmless,but its understandable that your hurting and worried out this, talk to her, ask her why she is still in contact with these guys espeically if she knows how much its hurting you?, and i would also ask her what her feelings and thoughs are of these 2 guys? but depression is a hole different situation, it can be fueled by things like this but i think you should see your doctor or maybe see a councilor, i know from experience just talking to someone helps soooo much, talking to your girlfriend and telling her how you feel will help trust me.
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A
female
reader, b-Rit +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Hey hun, Don't worry if your girl has been with you for so long then you shouldn't worry, maybe she is just really good friends with these guys. I don't think you should exclude yourself from going to these places where these other boys will be ..because then it looks like your jelous...dont show her that your jelous because maybe that is what she is looking for? some girls are like that...id say not to worry if she told you everything about these boys and her past and she is completely open with you about it then you shouldn't need to worry. hope this helps!
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