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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Alright so this is a rather embarassing topic. My boyfriend and I have had sex about 5 or 6 times. I have never orgasmed. I know this in itself is a pretty normal thing but I am feeling pain the closer I come to a climax. It feels like this pleasurable pain the more stimulated I get. But tonight we had intercourse and when he went deep inside I felt the same pleasure/pain. I say pleasure becuase it feels good in a way but it is so painful it is hard to enjoy. Everytime I get close to a climax I feel this wierd pain and have to get my boyfriend to stop. Is this normal for a person who has never had an orgasm? Or is something wrong with me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): Go to the GYN. You might have something causing the pain.As far as getting close to orgasm, try these. Some women have orgasms outside caused by stimulation of the clitoras. Others have it inside. Some have it from both.Get him to get more on top closer to your clit and push more there. Inside, get him to aim more toward the front of your body.The best thing that helped me was for me to get on top because I could control his being where I needed him to be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): Nice answer devastated2008, I'm very impressed!
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A
female
reader, devastated2008  +, writes (8 September 2009):
 This may be due to pelvic congestion. When you become aroused and close to orgasm your pelvic structures become engorged with blood and this causes significant pressure. It is especially painful if you fear that you are not going to be able to orgasm... so instinctively you resist it to prevent frustration.
It sounds like what you are feeling is the beginning of an orgasm, which sometimes can feel like pain from either over-stimulation or failure to actually have an orgasm. If you are able to proceed to orgasm,you will feel involuntary muscular contractions which prevent further congestion and allows the congested blood to drain in a matter of minutes and will leave you with a distinctly pleasurable sensation, followed by a feeling of relaxation.
You might want to try letting go when you feel that pain/pleasure sensation. Take deep breaths and blow out fully (or moan-good time for vocals)... and try to let your partner continue until you actually finish the orgasm. If you absolutely can't continue, have him manually bring you to orgasm instead.
It is very common for women not to reach orgasm in the beginning. Don't put any pressure on yourself, make your goal to enjoy the closeness and intimacy whether you actually orgasm or not. The orgasm will come eventually.
Also make sure you let your partner know how much you enjoy his love even when you don't reach orgasm... men tend to take it very personally, but don't lie and pretend an orgasm. (I was married for 3 years before I consistently reached orgasm.)
If it continues you really should see a gynecologist just to be sure. However, I believe that you are perfectly normal.
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