A
female
age
26-29,
*harcloe
writes:Recently I’ve realized that I tire of people very fast.I’m not much of a talkative person really, but I get incredibly lonely a lot, so I try really hard to force myself to join in with other people.Maybe a month or two back I realized that, although my friends were great, I needed to see some new faces, so I expanded my group of friends. This is harder than it sounds for me, trust me, it was really stressful for absolutely no reason.But even after adding about 10 more people, I still grew bored of them. It’s like I gave up trying to hold conversations. I always assumed it’s was something to do with them, they were dealing with other problems, I upset them, they didn’t want to talk to me, or something.But just recently I’ve realized that I might be pushing people away, simply because I can’t find the enthusiasm to talk to them.It’s not only friends, it effecting any chance I may have on a relationship. This year I’ve only dated two people. The first one ended pretty fast, mainly because he was a moron. But the second one I just grew bored of. I assumed it was because we weren’t really compatible, but I’m thinking it may be something different.I have this friend, let’s call him Sam. We used to talk all the time, we were seriously becoming best friends, but then slowly I began to get irritated by the smallest of things, the way he laughed, the fact he talked about the same things over and over again etc. etc. At a party he showed me that he obviously felt something more than friendship towards me, but it was non-verbal, and nothing really happened because of it.The irritations I had towards him melted away for a few weeks, as I saw that we could possibly be more than just friends.But then the irritations started coming back. I started to unwittingly push him away. At the time I assumed he’d just moved on from me, but looking back on it, maybe he thought I’d moved on from him.We stopped talking for a long time, and I struck up a new friendship with a guy, call him Josh, which also developed into something more.But it’s happening again, I’m sick of talking to him. I want to be with other people, I don’t think I can deal with being tied down with one person.One of my other friends, who is fifteen, has had a relationship that has lasted three years! I used to think that was seriously abnormal, but now I’m wondering if I’m the weird one.How can I have a functioning relationship if I can’t be with someone for more than a few hours? It can’t be normal to get sick of people so easily. Is this just something that changes over time? It’s happened again and again and again, I just tire of people too fast. I don’t know what to do.Help?
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (15 September 2014):
Dear OP,
Maybe you tire of people so fast because you force yourself to be around others more often than you like?
I'm a very social person and work with people every day, but if I don't get some time alone when I feel like it, it's just too much. I get distracted and can't focus anymore and people seem annoying and shallow. It takes ENERGY to feel empathy and genuine interest (those two things you seem to lack at the moment). So, to stay a good friend, professional person, I need at least 1-2hrs completely alone every day, doing something by myself.
My guess would also be that you are rather feeling low, if you are getting very lonely a lot? Could it be that you are in a sub-depressive mood? Do you have many things that interest you, reasons to get out of bed every morning? Do you like yourself the way you are? Are you happy with the things around you? Or are you generally uninterested, passive, tired, self-critical, unhappy?
A possibility is that you are getting bored too fast, because you have a negative inner monologue and prejudices that prevent you from being curious. For instance, if somebody tells you "I like to go climbing".. then you instantly think "oh, he's one of those guys.." and you don't care to know any more than that. Thereby missing the really interesting things someone has to say. Or, if you meet somebody you like, you think "this person is out of my league" and so you hang out with people that you don't feel genuine affection for.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): It's not always the number of friends you have, but the quality of people you connect with. You are very judgmental of people, and too sensitive to finding their faults.
People have no responsibility to keep you entertained, and you have a bad attitude.
You don't bore of your friends. The truth is, you have nothing much to add to the conversation; so you blame the other person. You can't keep your wondering mind focused, so you bore easily. Your mind is somewhere else.
Your issue may be something simple. You have to find a hobby and explore your creative side. You have unlocked potential inside and you don't really challenge yourself enough. You need an outlet, and you thought you could find that being around other people. It isn't working for you.
You need to join a club. To join a group sharing your same talents and interests. You want to be around people with a common interest; who have something challenging to do that will help you to feel stimulated, and allow you to use hidden talents that are building up inside of you. You need to be creative, to use these talents that are just screaming to get out. What are you bottling-up inside? What is it that you love to do so much, but you can't find anyone who seems to understand, or people your age don't seem to get?
Do like to sing, perform, are you really good with animals?
There is something special about you. You haven't found your calling. Either that, or you are stifling it; because you think it's silly, or afraid people will make fun of you.
What are you really good at, but ashamed to let anyone know about? What talent are afraid to expose to your friends?
I say this because I've know someone like you. Turns out, she is a very good dancer. She is 14, and her parents got her into a dancing school. They were worried, because she didn't seem to like just being around people her age. They got a Wii dance game; and I noticed, no one could keep up with her. That girl has some moves! She's self-taught!
So I asked her if she really liked dancing. She said she loved it. Now she is happy and made a lot of friends with the girls and boys in her dance class. He mother used to take ballet herself. So it's in her genes.
Think about it. Are you ashamed of something you're really good at and afraid no one gets it? Just a thought.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 September 2014):
 If you are not a talker, then you need an activity partner. Be very upfront at the beginning that you are a quiet person and you have been that way for a long time. You also need a person who is comfortable with silence. You have to find out what you want and what makes you happy in a partner, not try to mold into what other people call normal. It's possible that you are not tired of the people, but tired of making conversations and figuring out how to kill the time.
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