A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, Well, I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I am a 20, almost 21, year old college student.Lately, I've been plagued with doubts about my own sexual orientation. You see, I have no problem with appreciating a woman, but I myself have noticed that I am attracted an awful lot to other guys. I have never become aroused watching or thinking about a girl. However, I almost always get an erection when watching, or even thinking about guys with well built bodies.To cite an example: I have a friend who last summer went to the USA to study English. I did not see him for almost three months. Before he left he was thin. When he returned, I noticed he had added much more muscle to his frame, and while talking to him I would find myself looking, discreetly of course, at his larger arms,back and chest, noticeable even with the shirt he was wearing. All the while getting really aroused. A while later I found a picture of him shirtless and I spent several minutes gazing at his muscled body while getting really aroused. This is just one example of many. At college there are plenty of guys with muscular bodies and I find myself staring at them. I started masturbating to relieve the tension. Each and every time I have done it, I have done it with images of the buff guys I know or other pictures of muscled guys pulled from other sources(never porn).I have gotten really confused now. I actually started to think that I may be gay or at least bisexual. Like I said, I have never become aroused by girls, only by guys, and it has been like this for almost ten years now. Just the thought of been in a room with a friend and sharing an intimate moment(not necessarily sex) gets me an erection.I would really like some input, advice, and/or suggestions in order to shed a little more light on this matter, and, hopefully, help me clear this matter quickly. I am pretty open-minded, but this has really been occupying my thought lately.Thank you very much!
View related questions:
erection, muscle, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Patricko2011  +, writes (19 June 2011):
I have been going through the same thing my entire life (I am 27 now). And I know you just want an answer. And you wont get it. Muscles turn me on. I went through therapy to find out more about myself, but that was a waste. All they said was that "you are not gay or straight, you are just aroused by muscles"I was also able to get aroused very easily by kissing women too. So that added to the confusion (anyone can get aroused by touch I am told). If I keep chasing muscle all my life, I will just end tired. But alas, I guess I am not gay or straight - because right now I am fed up with Men and Women. You said you aren't panicking and that is good. But you will. Wait until all your friends are married and your parents nag you about grandchildren. I guess I could be gay, but I lack the courage to find out.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (19 January 2011):
 I'm one of those that sort of 'knew' when I was young (like from 8-10) that I liked boys more than girls but forgot about until about high school when I really started finding guys more visually (and hence sexually) attractive than girls - although I never acted on it. I tried dating and had a couple on-again/off-again girl friends but never did anything sexual with them.
Once I hit college it became almost unbearable. There were so many guys that I found attractive (including a couple of my roommates - Whoa!) but I lived in a VERY SMALL community in a mountain state where being gay is NOT acceptable at all. I forced myself into accepting that I was gay when I was 19, but could not really 'do' anything about it till I moved (from the 2yr/comm college) to a larger school on the west coast. I was then able to meet guys, through want-ads and those phone-lines (the internet didn't exist then).
Coming out to others was also a major leap for me. That didn't happen till I was like 30. Essentially I would keep my private life and work/friend circle completely separate. At some point I finally came out to a very close friend... and then after that it was just easier to come out to others.
Again, EVERYTHING happens differently for each individual. Your own self realization of where you fall in the Kinsey Scale and how you deal with it is all an individual experience.
And remember... you're not the only one going through it.
It's estimated that 8-10% of all people are gay. So just for a fun exercise (in a classroom for example) count to 8 and just say to yourself... that person's bi/gay/lesbian... count 8 more... and repeat... till you're done counting all the people in the room. See how many there are! WOW!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your comments.
I didn't panic at all when you said I could be gay(at least to you).
Still, I don't know what to mak of it. At least not yet. I guess I'm not that hardcore, for a lack of another word.
The image of some of my friends flexing their muscles definately turns me on, but my thoughts have never veered towards both of us lying in bed naked or any other sexual activity. I guess now the question would be whether am truly homosexual, or just a little. But I realize either option would mean I'm definately one.
I thank you for your input and it was nice to know I'm not the only one with these kinds of feelings. Any other comments would be appreciated and I will in turn think more deeply on this.
...............................
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (14 January 2011):
This question gets asked so often on here... that it's gotta be the most talked about subject.
It differs for each individual... but... for the most part If you are attracted sexually ONLY to guys... then you are gay. If you are attracted (sexually) to men and women sexually... you are bi. And if you are attracted (sexually) to women then you are straight. There are of course shades of grey (google the Kinsey Scale).
Coming to the realization that you are attracted to the same sex is, for most, terrifying and unwanted - as society programs us into specific gender roles and being bi/gay does not fall into what most societies define 'acceptable' - although it's changing. Unfortunatly, you have to ascertain whether YOU are gay, bi, or straight. No one can tell you that you are one or the other.
I essentially recommend cautious experimentation in this area - especially if you are confused. It's kinda like eating... you never really know if you like, or even crave, something until you actually have had it. There are also those of us who just 'know' that we are gay. Many 'know' from a very young age. I've read statements from some individuals that 'knew' when they were 6 years old. Others take almost a lifetime to come to the realization and don't 'come out' until later on in life.
There are two approaches you can take to experimentation. One of non-committal sex - e.g. having sex with someone merely for the physical pleasure of it. The other, and many would advocate this more than the previous, involves developing a loving relationship with someone first and then having sex. Which approach you choose, depends on your own attitudes.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): It does sound like you may be gay to me. It's actually funny because I am in quite a similar predicament myself! It seems my case is very like yours, and I know exactly how you feel. I know the facts that are lain in front of me, but somehow I still have doubts about either saying I'm fully gay or I'm fully straight.
From what I understand, if you're only aroused by guys and not by girls at all, that's pretty much the definition of being homosexual. But then again I'm not sure of my own sexuality so who am I to say?
...............................
|
