A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:I'm getting anxious feelings every time I speak to/think about my boyfriend? A good example to give is this one that's happening right now.I'm on the phone to him, and I'm so happy that I'm talking to him as we've just come back from a holiday and I've become closer to him. I haven't spoken to him all day. But once he starts talking about how his day went and how nice today was. It just makes me have this bad feeling. I've been having trouble trusting him since I found out about this girl he was flirting with through text and also he recently lied to me as a result of me getting anxious when he goes out to parties and such.I really want to stop feeling like this, it's almost like I want him to say he's been thinking about me, it's like I want him to be the centre of my universe. I really feel like I'm being so clingy and needy and insecure and that I have low self esteem.I feel like I'm going mad. I need to be the girl I was before. So confident in my relationship and my self. I know he loves me, he's always broke but took me on a 5 day get away to Barcelona, he has my name tattooed on his skin and he's never been such a liar or hid things from me until I started being so...jealous and just clingy I guess.I'm really scared of losing my boyfriend, we've been together for nearly 4 years and I've never had this problem up until last year. I find it's getting worse. We had a break and I became so independent and then I fell back into the same routine and anxiety about our relationship.When he goes out, he NEVER takes me. He says that he doesn't want people to take advantages of me(The parties he goes to consist of Congolese (his birth place, Congo) men who like to touch up women, one of his friends got forced to get fingered and stuff)I guess I'm used to not being out with him when he goes parties as he's not a party person and when he's invited it's usually guys nights out.I feel like he's taking me for granted sometimes and I think, and overthink everything about my relationship. I over think in general. I just want to learn a way to control my way because I feel like I'm pushing him away and I've heard that this kind of behaviour just does that.Someone PLEASE help?
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Why does he not take you out to other places that do not consist of sexually ravenous men. Did his friend not report against those Congolese men? I am pretty sure that being forced to get fingered counts as sexual assault. Why does he even surround himself with those types of people?
But try not to worry yourself. I doubt he would leave you so easily after tattooing your name into his flesh. Have a little faith. He loves you and he cares about you. Just let him know that you want to go out with him more and see what happenes.
I hope that helps.
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