A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey there...i've been having a rough time lately... i've been in a serious long distance relationship for 4 years.Even though I never cheated, he can't trust me!he said that he's had bad experiences with his last gf, and admits he has trust issues.i love him very much, so i decided to make him confortable, give him reason enough trust me. I don't go to partys, barbecues, or anything like it if doesn't want to go with me.he lives in another city and doesn't have much money, so we see each other every other weekend.the worst part is that after all this time, he still can't trust me and i don't what to do!i don't want to be escorted to parties the rest of my life!We've talked a LOT about this, and he says he's trying to get better, but never does! i'm a senior in college but i haven't experienced almost anything... i feel like i gave up a huge part of my life for him and i'm resenting it... i don't know what to do... i love him, but i feel suffocated and i started to wonder about breaking up with him and meeting new people...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Hi there, I am in an LDR also, and my partner also has trust issues. He likes to pretend he's joking about it when he brings it up, but I know its not true.
I, like you, don't give my partner reason to mistrust me. In fact if anyone should be worried, it should be me. But anywho! You need to talk to and tell him how this is making you feel. Tell him that every time he questions you, every time he makes a remark about other guys, you take the opportunity and set him straight. He won't know he's hurting the relationship unless you tell him.
If you have already told him how it makes you feel, and he's still mentioning it, then you know he isn't really doing anything to try and combat his mistrust. Jealousy can break a relationship if it becomes too much. You need to work through this together and help him anyway you can. Ask him what would ease his mind, but also tell him that you need to live too and you can't stay at home 24/7!
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