A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know what everyone will say while reading this, but please, please, pleasssse keep an open mind...Basically last year me and (my now ex-boyfriend) broke up as he cheated on me with a girl that we both knew, apparently it was only a kiss. Anyway we broke up after a three year relationship, I was dealing quite well with it at first, but I needed answers that no one but he could give me, so I met up with him and asked him to be truthful with me, after that he started filling my head with the fact that he missed me and that he wanted to be with me and all the idiotic boy stuff about how he would change. I finally gave in and decided to give him a second chance as he seem to regret the whole thing. We started off slow, dating again. Then after a while we thought it was about time that we become a proper item together. He gave up going out with friends to night clubs and instead spent most nights with me. I fell in love with a whole different person to the guy he was before, at Christmas he spoilt me rotten with all these's beautiful gifts. We would go out and spend lots of time together... I suppose you wouldn't understand unless you were there, anyway he finally earned my trust back in him. Tuesday night he stayed at mine because he took the week off and was going to see his friend that lives an hour away so he wanted to spend lots of time together with me. Everything was really good, apart from his mate wouldn't stop messaging him which actually got annoying after a while. On Wednesday I didn't receive a message from him to say night or anything like normal, but thought nothing of it, I don't like bothering him when he goes out so I didn't message him. The next day he did make contact although it was at night which isn't normal at all, but it said that he loves me. He came over for a little bit and was really cuddly, we also made arrangements to go out for a bit on Friday before I had work. But he seemed a little off with me. After work I called him so I could talk to him on my way home, it was then that he told me he didn't love me any more, that he was tired of the relationship! Confused I asked why, I even asked if he cheated again, but he kept telling me no. Then after a while he admitted it.I feel so stupid that I believed that he had changed. I loved him and I'm so heartbroken that he has done this. Instead of saying anything I just deleted everything out of my phone including his contact number. I was doing really good hiding everything until he messaged me Sunday when I was in work. He went on about how much he loved me, and that he was an idiot and that he hopes I would find someone that treats me the way I should be treated. I asked him why again, and he said he was selfish and that they didn't have sex with one another,although they spent the whole night kissing and ended up staying at hers for the night, he said he felt really bad that he tried hiding it, and what makes him feel worse is that he has feelings for her, although I don't think he's ever met her before. I dropped most of his stuff at his last night but forgot something of his, a friend suggested keeping it for a little while to see how we both feel after a week or so, but I don't know if I want to.I feel so gutted, like everything is going so fast and I can't grab anything to hold onto, I haven't really slept or eaten since finding out, I'm exhausted during the day, but at night I just cant sleep. I'm pretty sure I don't want to know any more, but I have to give him the rest of his things back, which means seeing him. I wish he never contacted me. I just want to scream and shout at him. I just don't know what to do with myself any more. What should I do? And has anyone got any ideas to help me sleep?Thanksxxx
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, fell in love, heartbroken, kissing, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (12 March 2013):
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Proceed accordingly.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
 I can't ever see a reason to be friends with an ex
friendly maybe.
best thing to get his things back to him is have someone else do it for you or mail them.
and this too shall pass... the pain lessens and you move on...
there is an OTC drug called Melatonin that may help you sleep a bit...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 March 2013):
Go no contact with him. It'll take time but you'll soon be over him.
You need to realize that his behavior is not a reflection on you. He didn't cheat because you're not good enough or the other girl was better, he cheated because he is a selfish lying a$$hole. He didn't leave you because you were boring or whatever he said, he left you because the two of you weren't compatible and he has commitment issues.
As soon as you begin to look at this the way it really is instead of the way your ego tries to see it you'll begin to heal.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): "I needed answers that no one but he could give me, so I met up with him and asked him to be truthful with me, after that he started filling my head with the fact that he missed me and that he wanted to be with me and all the idiotic boy stuff about how he would change."Typical needy chick behavior, instead of trusting your own judgement based on the evidence that this guy was a scumbag and dumping him on the spot, you couldn't stand the thought that he could possibly think some other chick is better than you so you just had to demand an explanation, and in doing so you played right into his hands by giving him a perfect opportunity to weasel his way back into your affections by feeding you a lame self-serving story while telling you everything you wanted to hear, all of it BS.When will chicks ever learn: Don't believe what a guy SAYS, believe what he DOES.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): Hi hun, I've been through it and trust me you need to leave, right now you probably feel very low (my relationship is also 3 years so I understand how much you must love him,) but there are other guys out there who would not risk losing you and couldn't dream of hurting you. In a few months time (as long as you cut contact with him,) I bet you will be over him and look back and be proud of yourself, because you respected yourself.It's also an excellent lesson for life - that if someone breaks your trust they usually will do it again. This guy just decides when he wants you, but relationships don't work like that. I think you should hold your head high and believe in yourself, let him regret what he lost (I promise you he will, and it might even teach him to get more respect for women). Also keep your dignity, when you see him just smile and be decent.. I'm sure losing you will be a big enough punishment.Whatever you do don't take him back. As for the sleep and eating, the exact thing happened to me, I lost so much weight. I used to wake up throughout the night and think of how much I loved him. You really have to push through it, spend time with family, keep busy with friends all the time and work towards your future :) much love
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): Well I don't know of this will help but get a new guy. Make sure urex see's u making out with hjim. He'll possibley ge jelouse
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