A
female
age
36-40,
* gal
writes:I gave my boyfriend $4000. At that time he needed that to pay his college fee and I had that money so I gave it to him but it has been 2 yrs now and still he never talks about that money. It was the money from my savings when I was working abroad and when I came back to home town I had just $500 with me. From then I am living dependent on my family. My boyfriend was jobless and he just got his job 2 months ago. So we will be marrying within one or two yrs. But when I think about that money I really think I need them. Because my parents will have to arrange a lot of money for my wedding like jewelery or dowry. But I am afraid to hurt him or make him feel bad. How should I ask that money? I know he still doesn't have that but his family is richer than mine and I don't want my parents to loan for my wedding .( They don't know that I've given him such amount of money)Help me Please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): never lend any more than you can afford not to get back.
there is always a chance it wont be returned, so if you cant afford not to have it back, don't lend it.
the same is also true of gambling.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): when you GAVE it to him, has he signed anything? Can you prove it? Did you make it clear that it was a loan? I think you'll probably have to kiss this money goodbye, but when your family and his are discussing about dowry and who pays what make sure to tell them how much his son has already pocketed from you.
PS: when you guys are married he'll probably keep asking youb for money...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): Prepare a case against him....u have to fight for your money..!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): I don't think he's going to give you the money back. He hasn't so far, or by the sounds of it even mentioned it in 2 years
You can ask, tell him you need it for the wedding, that you want it to help with the cost of it.
If he makes excuses then ask if his family can pay you back instead - as they didn't have to pay his College fees at the time,because you did.
Prepare yourself for a legal battle, prepare for the relationship to end. And NEVER lend anyone,even a boyfriend $4000 dollars ever again
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