A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So two years ago I went out with this kid and it kind of failed, but we always remained really close friends. We talk all the time still and occasionally hang out. Well I still have feelings towards him and he flirts with me, but he is going out with this girl that I'm really good friends with. She really likes him but he doesn't so much anymore but he wants to see how it will go. Well a few days ago I was hanging out with him and some other people and he walked me home and he came inside my house and we fooled around. I feel terrible because I really don't want my friend to be hurt, but I don't have the heart to tell her. I mean would you want your really good friend to hear that you gave their boyfriend a hand job? Should I tell her, or not?... if so, how should I go about doing so?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, agony aunt j  +, writes (18 March 2007):
 ok well i think it's really bad what you've done, but im sure you probably know that already. i can understand why you're feeling like you cant tell her, but believe me, you have to. it's not fair to keep something like that from your mate, no matter how much it coul dhurt her. think how how much more it would hurt her if you kept it quiet and she found out some other way. For what youve done you need to face the consequences. yo know you shouldnt have done it and you're sorry. so show her that. dont expect her to forgive you straight away, but dont give up trying to make it up to her. and also although you may not feel it at the time, she'll have a lot more respect for you that you tell her than she would should she find out from someone else. remember hes in a relationship with this girl, so he might be finding it hard to keep it quiet. You're both obviously feeling guilty, make it up to her with actions, not just words. It's up to you to make the right decision, but that's my personal opinion. i honestly thinkyou'll feel as though a great weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Put yourself in her position - would you want her to tell you?
i know it seems hard but deep down i'm sure you know its the right thing to do.
just give her some space and respect her reaction.
best of luck!
:):)
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