A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in relationship wih this guy for over 2 months now,and he has told me he loves me and I dint say it back and he said I can take my time and he'l wait! But a few weeks ago he brought that up,saying he's scared I won't fall in love!When we met we had the perfect 2 days I could ever imaginee we spent the whole night togeher(no sex) just cuddling and kissing!he had to leave to los angeles so when I dropped him off to the airport and we kissed again I could see the pain in his eye cuz I still dint tell him that I love him,I could see he wanted me to tell it but he dint ask me anything! And I finally gave in and said 'I love you' and he was like it took you soo long,now I can go to los angeles in peace!now when I think about it,I don't regret it bu I also feel I dint mean it like how it should!I don't know what to do!I am crazy about him,I want to spend every minute of my life with him,I can't go a day without seeing him but I wasn't ready when I told him I love him!I always want him to be happy and I know if I said it,he would be the happiest man alive!that's why I went ahead and said it..I feel a little guilty now..what do I do?
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (14 June 2013):
 First you say two months, then two days. Did he tell you he loved you after two days and expect you to say it back? Even after two months it's very soon, maybe too soon, so maybe you just typed days by mistake.
You can think you know and love a person after two months, and you may be right, but a relationship needs to stand the test of time. He seems to be rushing into things and putting pressure on you to move fast. If you move too fast with the relationship it will crash and burn.
You don't need to tell him you don't love him, but if it comes up again (and it surely will) and he expects you to say you love him back, tell him that while you have strong feelings for him, you feel like the whole thing is very rushed and he is putting pressure on you to say things that you're not ready to say. If he can't handle hearing that then he can't handle a relationship.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 June 2013):
 That depends on the type of relationship you want. Do you want one built on honesty and openness, or one with white lies that are being told to "spare" someones feeling? Not everyone will be okay with complete honesty... So you need to see for yourself. My ideal is 100% hinesty, even if the truth will hurt feelings. Doesnt mean you say cruel things, but it means you never say something unless you truly mean it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo should I tell him that I said that to him just to make him happy or let it go?
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (14 June 2013):
He sounds immature. He pressures you into saying you love him, tells you you took long, emotionally blackmails you by crying about how worried he is you wont fall in love... Omg, if it was two years Id understand him, but two months!? How needy is he? I suggest you stop lettinh him pressure you and say it like it is. You arent there yet, you said you love him to make him happy, but arent ready to say it. It doesnt mean you will never say it, it just means you need more time You dont even know each other that well yet, its only been two monts!
My advice to you would be to not allow him moving fast fotward. Those who rush into things rush out of them as well. Put the breaks on him if you eant this relationship to last.
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A
female
reader, freecupid +, writes (14 June 2013):
If you tell him that you take your words back, you'll only hurt him - and therefore yourself- and the relationship between you two will be irrevocably changed.
If you care for this guy sincerely and see yourself with him, then don't stress..give it a little time, because you may grow to love him and you'll have retracted your words for no reason.
For the time being...go easy with the declarations eh. Don't say it unless you mean it in a hurry again...not even to appease him.
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