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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i'v been seein this guy for 5 weeks now, and we are not bf and gf yet, but it really feels as though we are,and everyone thinks we are, as we do everything that a couple would do! i realy want a relationship with him, but we are not together yet, as he is holding back! from previous troubled relationships, he is finding it difficult to decide what he wants! believe me, he is not messing me around!we thought about getting together anyway, to see how it goes. but decided that would just b like living a lie! knowing its not what he actually wants! from the heart....we have now decided for both our sanity, that he should make a decision by the end of this month!he says he is currently at 50/50 in deciding!i was wondering if anyone had any tips they could give me in swaying his decision, without looking too desperate or hooked up on him!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 WOW! Now that sounds very familiar! I was in the same situation and when i say exact i mean exact!
The difference with the situation however you gave him a cut of date, well done, i should have!
So thats the first brilliant thing you have done, because by that day he knows he will either have you or loose you, men hate loosing!
And second brilliant thing you doing is not playing clingy!
Make him see that you do want to be with him but ymake sure you you don't make yourself too available, my second mistake!
That on it's own will keep his attention! And who knows if the advice i just gave works, at least i know that from my mistakes i could help someone else!
50/50 is a good thing, cause in mens terms it's if i tell you 50/50 how far are you willing to go to run after me! he knows what he wants already otherwise he wouldn't still be around, keep that in mind!
A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 I'd say you can do nothing more except wait. You've given him an ultimatum with a cut off point. Good idea, as long as you can follow through with it. You can't force someone to make a decision, and I'd say the only way you can 'sway' him is continue to be yourself and stop stressing about it. Your question seems to really be asking, "How can I make him like me, and how can I make him want me." You can't, simple as that.
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