A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so.... this is my problem...on new years eve i was really wasted and texted this one guy ive crushed on for a few months, it was like 1:30am and i told him to come up because i didnt feel well.. suprisingly he came up and we somewhat hungout, we walked around outside, then went to a park where it was dark, i let him take advantage of me, and so i gave him a BJ....he walked me back home, and left,...now like 2-3 weeks later i dont know what i should do, should i text him again, or what.... i still have feelings for him, i never told him i liked/and still do like him, i want to tell him... im really confused on what i should do....i dont want to be considered desperate, or a Whore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): We do not know what he's thinking of you. But please...bite the bullet, use your head here, and do not contact him. Unless he's dropped off the face of the earth..I would think if he wanted to see you again, he would be acting like a guy who is really, really into you. And frankly, hun---it's just soo easy to contact someone, you care about. It takes 7 seconds to dial a cell phone number, a few minutes to send a quick email...no one is that busy they can't find the time in a 24 hour period to do this. Sadly, this is not the case here. When men are really, truely into a female, they call, text and email her constantly. They want to hear the sound of her voice, they want to connect! I think you may have to let this one go, hun. His actions are telling you, he's no longer interested and I am sorry. You now know there are some unscrupulous, uncaring guys out there who do use others. Don't beat yourself up over this. Take what you learned, be strong and use that knowledge to discriminate.
Just note, there are wonderful, good quality guys out there. You've now learned something that you apply to your train of thought when discerning what kind of guy is good for your life. You will find a good guy...and always uphold yourself to high standards. Think smart and keep using your head from now on. And please, no sex, no BJ's with a guy until you get to know his character, his values , and who he really is. I always suggest not sleeping with guys until the 2-3rd month of steady dating. As I have said many times, if he pressures you for sex too soon, then you need to bail fast and really 'discern'what type of person he is. Dating someone is to select someone who is a good person and is good for us. Decisions should never be made in the sexual, romantic thrall. They are made with our heads and rationale. And take responsibility for your actions here too and remember sex does not necessarily drive the heart of many a guy..to them it's sex and just sex. But females involve their emotions, once sex takes place. So take your time in the future. Now get out there and enjoy life, keep smiling and be positive and call this just 'a life learning experience'. Take care my dear and the best of luck.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 January 2009):
 That was indeed - what's the word? - IMPULSIVE to the extreme. If a girl does that with me, and a only a couple have done anything so like that over the past 45 years of my life, I did not and would not consider them to be anyone with whom to have a meaningful relationship. While I loved it and much appreciated the orgasm, I'd never consider another get-together even if they gave me their phone number. For me it happened way back in the 1960s and early 1970s, yet I worried about whom else they had such relations. One night stands can be okay, and are exciting, but before sucking him off, it would be expected to share a planned evening.
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A
male
reader, Luaris +, writes (19 January 2009):
 Acting like that is NOT the way to get a guy to really like you. Yes you got him to notice you and be intimate but I think you have no chance of being in a loving relationship with a guy who would accept something like that and not follow up on you. Hopefuly you realize that it was wrong and that a good guy can someday look past that decision and truly care for you...maybe.
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A
male
reader, sk8erboy_Jaxon +, writes (19 January 2009):
 your all good just text the guy say,"hey whats up" and have a convo. its not too hard =)
sk8rboy_jaxon
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