A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Found 2 hairs that aren't mine. My husband of 5 yrs used to cheat on me via Internet and once I found out he apologised and continued it for 2 long years and perfectly made lies although I found them all out. The other day I found 2 blonde long hair in y room and none of my friends or his friends has blonde hair nor anyone with blonde hair ever come up to my home. He works with woman who has blonde hair so I hope it is just brushed on to his or my jacket and bought home. I talked to my friend and she said if it was brushed on the jacket, why did it wait all the way home just to fall of the jacket? Or why did I not found a hair all these 5 y ears as we used to work with blondes and no hair bought home until now? The first hair was on the sofa and then I hoovered the house and 2 days later I found the next hair on the carpet near kitchen. I looked properly on the bed and clothes and in other rooms but no other hair apart from those two. Guys and girls please share your opinion. What would you do if you find strange things in your house like this? I asked him about the hair and he said I'm always suspicious of him. He so the very first man I ever known and never even had a boyfriend before and never even dreamed of cheating. Should I use a nanny cam to be safe? I already had enough heartache in the past and maybe I'm going crazy and imagining all these up? So a nanny cam will keep me calm? Plz help. Thank you Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Alba5 +, writes (13 April 2014):
He's cheated before and now it sounds like you are making yourself anxious with worry. I'm afraid you will always feel this and it isn't fair to yourself. I believe your relationship is over as you're never going to trust him again are you?
Get some counselling and get yourself stronger and find a relationship with someone who truly loves you....faithfully.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2014): All I can say is no, there is absolutely no way he wold bring home somebodies hair. Why I don't find ever any weird hair in My house?? Because my husband doesn't bring home blonds, that's why. I don't kow how you can even doubt that heis cheating again? I strongly believe that once a cheater is always a cheater. People who cheat have different personality that people who don't cheat. People who cheat don't stay monogamous, it's just not in them. I am not even saying its terrible to cheat, it's just how it is with these people. I knew once a family, where a mother was like that. She had 3 young children, she adored her husband, but she just couldn't stay monogamous. She didn't have every man that was available, no, she had a certain taste, but if there was an opportunity to do it with a man she likes she did itI am pretty much sure that your husband is doing it again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2014): He cheated before and you're still with him. To say "you are always suspicious" is very nasty. Logic - he cheated before, he kept it hidden until you found out, you took him back. Did you get counselling? Did you get accountability for him stepping outside of your marriage or did he just expect you to forgive and forget?Erm, no wonder you are suspicious, you have every right to be. The blonde hairs in themselves mean nothing, although it DOES seem strange you've never found them before. It would no do harm to set up one of those secret cameras if you can, in a place where people come in and out of the house, a thoroughfare. It does seem odd the hair was there again AFTER you'd hoovered as well. I think if he was my husband I'd say nothing more and then I'd hire a private investigator.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 April 2014):
 OP, normally a person should have some kind of proof before making a serious accusation. However those who have a track record for being dishonest are not entitled to the same benefit of the doubt or burden proof as one who has maintained a clean record.
There may be an innocent explanation for the hairs, but if it's raising the same questions and you still cannot resolve this to your satisfaction, then you're perfectly justified in calling it quits with him.
You don't owe him any more chances and you don't have to stick around until there is irrefutable evidence.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2014): If you suspect cheating for some other reason this might be evidence. By itself though, I don't think its enough of a reason to think he's cheating. Not if you thought he was being faithful before you found these two hairs. It's not unusual for people to shed 100+ hairs in a single day. They get around easily.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (11 April 2014):
A nanny cam is only useful if he cheats in front of one when it's on. Even if you placed one in every room in the house, you still wouldn't catch him because he is more likely to cheat outside your home than in it. And what if you did catch him? What would that change? You're still going to take him back just as you've done every other time so unless you're some kind of voyeur, what would be the point of filming him with another woman? Same goes for a private investigator. What difference does it make who takes the pictures if the result is the same? You'd be out of pocket for the PI and still nothing would change. He'll keep cheating and you'll keep taking him back.He has proven that enjoys the attention of other women. You've proven you'll stick around no matter what, so why should he give that up when he has nothing to lose? He's not worried about losing your respect because he lost that years ago and he's done fine without it.The bottom line is you can't trust him. Ever. You can't follow him around every moment of the day and you can't afford to pay someone else to. And why would you want to? The most you'll have is proof, but it won't change anything as long as you keep taking him back. There is nothing endearing or admirable about being a chump.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (11 April 2014):
 Kudos to you for making such a keen observation. I think finding the blonde hairs is just confirming what your gut has been telling you for quite a while. I think you should do a little bit of investigation, maybe hire a Private investigator if you can afford one or as the anonymous female reader suggested, set up a hidden camera somewhere. He's going to deny cheating on you if you confront him, so catch him in the act. Don't listen to any more of his excuses. When you find your solid proof, leave him.
A long time ago a friend of mine suspected her boyfriend of cheating. One day she found a blonde hair entangled in his pubic area. She kicked him out and never looked back. It turned out that he was cheating on her with many women.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (11 April 2014):
It sounds like you're suspicious and you have every right to be.but instead if spying on him you should realize that you don't need him and move on to someone who you can be happy with.
You may love him but what good is love when it comes with such a heavy cost?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2014): I think that is a good idea to set up a nanny cam. Maybe set up several in various parts of the house if you can afford to do so.
If he is cheating, it is pretty bold of him to take a woman to your house.
Alternatively, you can hire a detective and have him followed.
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