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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been married for 10 years now. We have been together for 14 total. Just last week I found text messages on his phone, being the nosey person that I am I read them. Now I wish that I had not, the messages were sex related. I do not know this person but from the name on the message and other information I have discovered I belive that my husband might be gay. How do I now for sure? This is killing me, I have a child to think about also. He has never given me any reason to not trust him about anything.
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female
reader, tfaulkner9  +, writes (19 May 2010):
Hello, I wasn't married to the guy, but I too had a male friend who was receiving text messages. Apparently he was writing his cell number on Bathroom walls. He told me that he wasn't GAY and that it wouldn't happen again. Well guess what? We broke up, I kicked him out. After some time passed.. I had him come over to talk about this and sure enough, he had another text from a guy, and the bathroom was right down the street. He is harassing me to get back together and that I hurt him. No he hurt himself. He blames his depression on it. If he is not GAY, why would he choose to hurt people? Mind you, he started this right off the start to the relationship- in the town where he worked. If you see another text, don't be afraid to text them back to get details. TF9
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): ur husband is not an gay and there is nothing for u to worry ,its because ur not having sex with him play with him do all the naughty things and do what ever he says even if he says to take his dick in ur mouth and drink the piss anthing
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): well that probably means he is gay. talk to him and find out. if he is break up if he is not confront him. CONFRONT HIM ANYWAY AS A MATTER OF FACT
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Well, the first thing I would suggest is to evaluate your marriage... are you open with each other? Are you best friends in the way that you can tell each other anything? If so, then the best approach is to be blunt and tell him you WERE snooping on his phone, and despite how much you love him he has caused suspicions to arise. He should be able to tell you the blunt truth also. If you don't feel so bold, then another answer might be to try and "hang" around him more... ask to go to any social functions with his friends. If he says he has to go somewhere alone, then you might be in order to ask why. One more note, if you do go with the bolder approach, be sure to add that you "simply want to know so there are no secrets" between the two of you. I hope this helps... :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): ok , most likely the name he programed the number under is going to male instead of female to throw you off from the number in his phone , i have afriend who put all her boyfriends numbers in her phone as females so her husband wouldnt find out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): You need to ask directly to ur husband regarding this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): You might want to entertain this thought. There's a good chance that that he is seeing a girl and put the name of a guy in the phone in stead of the girl in case you saw the name in his contacts list. This way you would'nt think anything of it. So of course when the text came in , it was also under a guys name which might actually be a girl in disguise. I used this method myself to hide girls name's. i thought I was the inventer of this:)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): Just cause it says a Mans name.. dont buy it. This is a comman tactic used my men and women to disquise and affair incase the girlfriend/wife happens to look at imcoming/outgoing calls. For example: Donna would be entered as Don and/or Daniel as Danielle. Coming from a man here.. i say this is a classic name disquise.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): wow..some gay guys are weird like that. have you ever seen american beauty? sometimes gay men like that are ashamed to be gay and they try to hide it..my ex-boyfriend was gay and was ashamed of it..the girlfriend he had before, they dated for 3 years and he was having sexual intercourse with other guys behind her back and says that he loves her. if I were you, i would try to find out for sure and then confront him, which will be the hardest thing you'd have to do. if i were you, i'd rather be hurt and know the truth than to live a lie my entire life.caramel_lollie21 at yahoodotcom
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reader, lboy  +, writes (2 October 2006):
 HI, well maybe you should just talk to him and ask him what is going on and don't let him change the subject to why you where you lookin at his phone (even though you shouldn't have)cos these txt's don't mean that he is gay he might be bisexual or this guy might just fancy him and your BF just doesn't now how to get this guy to stop. just give your BF a chance to explain his self and if it does come to the worst make sure that your child nows that it is not his fault for the break up cos trust me that can really mess with a kids mind.
good luck
lboy
xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2006): I reckon its a girl who's texting him and he's put the name in his phone as a guy's to avoid you suspecting him of anything when you see his cell phone calls to this number. take the bull by the horns girl and phone the number. do it anonymously, see who picks up a guy or a girl. Then whatever the response you will have your ammuntion. Best of luck... cheating is bad news.
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female
reader, Aaliyah12345678 +, writes (25 September 2006):
ask him about.or break up with him get a divorce.cuse if he is gay you think about your child.also if he is gay hes not thinking of you or you and his child.you think what would be best for your child.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): Hold on to your hats ladies, as a 32-year old never married hetero male, I’m astonished at the incidence & frequency of otherwise completely straight males experimenting with other men just for fun and maybe to satisfy a curiosity. I believe they do it just for that reason, not because they’re gay or that your man is going to leave you but rather simply he might be curious. I’ve seen that women are often really really threatened by this, and honestly they shouldn’t be. It will be what you make of it I think: you can make a big deal out of it or not let it threaten your relationship. Assuming you want to remain faithful to each other, you could talk about it, ask him during sex(!) what would turn him on – you may eventually get comfortable with it, even make it your own little fantasy together, bringing you closer. It’s probably mostly talk/fantasy anyway. Believe it or not I’m dating a woman now who confided in me that she’d like to watch another man perform orally on me – go figure! You could try adding a little bi-sexual porn (gasp!) to your collection. I’ll confess, and I can be totally honest here ‘cuz I don’t know ANY of you lovely people, but although I want to get married & have kids etc., I have had two light experimentations with men, and I’m not attracted to men, I couldn’t kiss a man, hard for ME to fully understand much less someone else. But it was fun & I’m glad I did it. And I certainly don’t feel gay. I guess men can be complex; it doesn’t make him bad or gay. Talk about it, & be understanding!
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reader, Amethyst +, writes (23 September 2006):
 I've had this happen, 'cept I was the one with the text messeges. A lot of people like to send messeges to random phone numbers to see what sort of responses they get. I had a girl that sent me something, and when I sent her a response back saying "you must have the wrong number" she kept harrassing me. Same happened to me later with some guy, and my fiance was right there asleep on my lap!
So, what I suggest, is you look through the sent box first, see what kind of responses he sent (if any) before going any further. If you see he sent messages back implying and interest, then you need to sit down and have a talk with him. Ask him what's going on, if it was just a curiousity phase or what! Do that before you automatically assume the worst....
and good luck with it hun!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2006): Another though maybe it is a woman and he put it under a male name in the phone to stop suspition.
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female
reader, Tiagre +, writes (23 September 2006):
This is a really tough one, hun.
First up, try to stop panicking and try to think things through. You say he has never given you a reason not to trust him, which is very good.
Has he ever shown an interest in other men or shown a disinterest in women?
Have you checked the 'sent' mail to see if he replied? Is there any chance that these were sent to the wrong number or are there parts of them that don't make sense (which indicated a mistake)?
I think you need to be honest with him, explain that you were not trying to be rude or invade his privacy, but you need to know the truth. Chances are, it was a mistake.
But just in case, ask yourself how you would react if he said he was gay. Would you be sympathetic or angry? Seeing as you have a child, I would recommend being sympathetic, because then you/him are less likely to get angry and storm out. Also, please don't discuss it infront of your child, because it can be very distressing to see parents argue and he/she might not be ready to accept if their father is gay.
Try to understand that it is not his fault if he is that way inclined, it's part of who he is, and he wasn't trying to hurt you or your child. In fact, many gay people either aren't aware of their attraction to other men/women, and lead 'straight' lifestyles before realising that it's not right for them.
I know it might be heartbreaking for you, but it might also be heartbreaking for your husband. I hope everything goes well xxx
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