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female
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anonymous
writes: What should i do?I found pictures of other women on my husbands phone, when i confronted him he said that his work mates had sent them to him. He promised not to receive any more of them.I now know that he has a seperate phone that he hides away from me. I have seen it and am too frightened to confront him again as he will know i've been snooping. We have been to gether for 16 years and have 3 children, i don't know what to do. Shall i start something that could bring about an end to our relationship?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): you know what i have the same problem your not alone i briught new sim and sent him messages and he responded
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 If he is not doing anything then why does he have a hidden phone, sounds to me like furtive behaviour, my friends have jokes and sometimes pictures sent to them on mobile phones but they are very obviouse not someone they know as the girl is usually doing some sexual act.
You say you are frightened of him?
I do not usually advocate spying but in your case you do have worries that are real and you also have a lot to loose if your partnership ends, but maybe that is better that living with someone who is taking you for a fool and getting kicks out of decieving you.
Monitor phone some more and then think about your options, if you are to leave him make sure you have the facts right.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Well he is clearly hiding something from you. Why else would he have a seperate phone that you know nothing about. I presume these pictures where of a naked nature, maybe they were from other work mates and are just a bit of fun, but why the other phone ? I do think you need to at least try and ask him about it, he could be cheating, he could just be looking at the odd naughty pic! and knows you dont like it so thought best to keep it from you. But well hes being dishonest whichever way you look at it. It will eat you up if you dont say anything, but maybe hang tough a bit and see if he acts different in other ways that make you think he is up to no good. If he is having an affair or looking to then he will slip up somehow or other. I understand you not directly wanting to confront him, but you have got your family to consider, the thing is if he is cheating, surely you want to know ? If he were cheating would you give him his marching orders ? If its innocent then why the hidden phone. If it is innocent i dont see that it would bring an end to your relationship, but if he is cheating that could well do. It depends if you really want to know what he is up to. How you approach it is up to you, maybe start tidying the place he has hidden the phone and stumble accross it while hes there and then mention it ? If its in the car, go to the place that it is but pretend its my accident something like that, and well hopefully it will look like you found it and then you can have cause to ask why he has it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Well you certainly deserve to have an explanation. He knows what he's doing is wrong or he wouldn't hide the other phone from you. Try to stay calm while you are discussing the situation. If you don't get the results you need then maybe your relationship needs a total overhaul. Are things going smoothly in other areas of your relationship? You really need to sit down with him and sort it all out. Don't worry about being accused of snooping, what he's doing behind your back is far worse.
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