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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together ages now, and are/were deeply in love. However, in the last week things began to change. I discovered that he has people after him, that hate him... they write nasty stuff everywhere about him, and all of it is obviously not true. I don't know why but this puts me off him. I don't like the thought of him being hated, and for some reason it starts to make me lose feelings for him. Maybe it's because i care what people think about him too much. Like i can't accept him until everyone else accepts him. I know i should be there for him (even though he says he doesn't care what they say or do) but thinking of it really puts me off him. I don't want to lose him but at the minute, i'm finding it hard to find any feelings for him in this situation. I know i love him though, but i don't know what to do about it!! Please help,Confused in love x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 I understand this feeling completely. One of the greatest attractions of the opposite sex is their popularity and ability to get on with people. If our partner does not have these things, we start to wonder why we ourselves like the person if everone else doesnt. You may also be worried that people may begin to hate you if you are with him.
At the end of the day, you need to sit down with your boyfriend and talk about why this is happening to him. Whatevers happened in his past may not be his fault and if everone hates him, like you say they do, he is probably really greatful to have you and would be devastataed if you finished it just cos nobody likes him. Imagine how lonely and down in himself he would feel then.
If he makes you happy, treats you well and you are good together then you should stick together and make things work. To hell what everyone else thinks of him. If you like him then thats your choice and you shouldnt let anyone elses nasty comments put you off. Let him know you are there for him and he will open up to you.
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Why do these people hate him so much, there must be a reason and maybe deep down you feel that what they are saying is not all lies and this is what is worrying you.
Sounds to me like you are not as deeply in love as you first thought and maybe need a way out of this relationship.
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