A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have a boyfriend who I have been dating since the end of 2015. In the beginning few months of our relationship, he told me that he was still friends with this girl whom he had dated and had sex with. I was pretty cool with it because I didn't know about her identity then. But fast forward to a few days ago, we were talking about the 3 people who knew him the best - and that girl was one of them. Coincidently, they were gonna meet up the following day for a catch up. I felt really uncomfortable hearing that because I now knew who she actually was and that my boyfriend had been meeting her occasionally. I fully trust my boyfriend, I wasn't jealous/insecure or anything, I just didn't like knowing who that person who had sex with him actually was. We had a talk over this and I told him how I felt, and he decided to end the friendship with her. I fully trust that he did so, but somehow I still kept thinking about how much he must have told her about me for the past 1.5 years we have been together. (Because he is the type to talk about me every single time when he is with his friends) These thoughts just made me feel really sick in the stomach - I can't exactly explain what I am feeling right now. I should feel assured that he has stopped the friendship but there's this lingering feeling that I am not too sure about. I would appreciate it if someone could give some advice on this xx.
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (15 August 2017):
 You need to relax on this. He has been honest and open. It is possible just to be friends with ex partners. He may have interests in common with her that he doesn't with you. I'm pretty sure they won't have spent much time talking about you.
You have made your point. Now let it go.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2017): He should have told you.
What if he had told you about a former sex-partner, but he didn't tell you that he was still in contact with her for the last 1.5 years? That would be wrong. Everyone would agree that its cheating, at least emotionally if not physically.
If you knew your BF was in contact with another girl, but you didn't know she was a past sexual partner, then it's basically the same wrongdoing. Instead of telling you that he slept with her but not saying they were still in contact, he let you know they were in contact but he didn't tell you they had a sexual relationship before. Different route to the same destination.
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