A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I know this probably is not the best place to find help in this matter. But right now I don't feel like telling my friends or family about this. I am married and really love my husband. But he uses internet a lot and he keeps logging on dating websites saying that he is single and talking to women not only as friends but in other terms. I confronted him about this but he said he does it cause he is creating a dating website ( which is true)and that I should trust him and see all he does for me, but still it bothers me. He is a great man, but it has become difficult to me to trust him in this matter.I have become the kind of person I don't want to be, I have checked his mail and his phone and hate that... last time I got a shock--I saw he posted an ad looking to meet transvestites. I don't know what to do, I did something wrong checking his mail again and I know if I talk to him about this again, it may end all in tears but I need to know the truth once and for all. How should I approach him? We've argued about this so many times and yet...I feel it is still unsolved and it's just getting worse...Thanks for your attention Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Suzired  +, writes (1 October 2010):
As a bi-sexual transvestite I can assure you that husbands wanting to meet TV's is not unusual. I have over the years had many sexual involvements with men all of whom were married. Don't ask me why but obviously there's a need to be fulfilled that their wives can't fill. Just because a husband wants to meet a TV for sex doesn't make him gay. From experience gay men wouldn't entertain having sex with a TV. Gay men aren't interested in women so finding a man dressed as a woman is a complete turn off for them. I can appreciate that this matter is of concern to the wives of such men, but it would be a matter of greater concern if your husband was looking for another woman.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): hi ya,
I really feel for you, I had the same problem with my husband, the beaumont society were a little helpful, but they seem to be more leaning towards the Transvestites themselves, I asked him out right and we sat down for what seems ages and spoke about everything, sadly it turned out that he had been meeting transvestites for sexual reasons, you can imagine my utter shock, my husband was gay, he said bi but lets face it if he is going with a transvestite, a transvestite is also a man so the gay issue must come into it, we are at the moment going through a divorce although we seem to be friendly about this, good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): I would guess that your husband actually does want talk to you about this; it sounds as if you have a very loving and trusting relationship. However, all couples have secrets and a desire to cross-dress can be a diffucult thing to disclose. It sounds as though he allowed you to stumble across his ad by "accident".
Before you talk to him why not talk online or on the phone to other people who are cross-dressers or have partners who are.I believe that there is an organisation called the "Beaumont Society". Your husband is probably seeking support and affirmation from others, rather than seeking to have an affair.As a helpline worker I talked to many men who practiced cross-dressing. There are many myths about these desires. It does not mean that your husband is gay or unhappy in your relationship or sexually frustrated. In fact cross-dresssing is often just a means of seeking a sense of comfort and relaxation that has little connection to sex. Your husband will probably have no idea why he has these desires, which he himself probably finds irksome. It would be a shame to throw away an otherwise good relationship because of this. However you do need to establish some ground rules based on what you yourself find acceptable. It doesn't sound as if you would wish to be actively involved; although I might be wrong. Best Wishes.
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