A
female
age
41-50,
*ululena
writes:Question 1ive been with my husband for 10yrs we both did our share of cheating and I thought we were passed it I promised to never cheat again I recently found out he still cheating but here I stay but now that I know his secret how can I tell him or let him know that if hes gonna continue to with his cheating then I would like to have a friend as well side note is it weird that now that I know ive become more aroused my sex drive went upQuestion 2how can I convinence my husband if he would be okay with turning this relationship into an open relationship he gets to have "friends" but if I did wat hes doing he would cut my head off I want to have fun too...
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (31 December 2019):
 You both have a blatant disrespect for the covenant of marriage and you clearly both DO NOT respect each other enough to even be married. I don't understand what it was that made the two of you Marry each other in the first place if you both don't seem to love each other enough to remain faithful. You want our advice on how to get your husband to give you permission to get a side piece of your own... He isn't going to give that permission so there's that. The thrill is what intrigues you both but understand that everytime you both go outside of your marriage, you open yourselves and each other up to many health risks. Both of you are playing Russian roulette with each other's (and your own) health. That isn't healthy to do within a marriage regardless of how you guys try to paint it as normal and as just a bit of fun. It's dysfunctional and reckless. It's either you both keep cheating on each other periodically and keep hurting each other OR you end this marriage and truly go after what you both want, which is; other people. It's no use wasting your time. Both of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2019): Stop messing about and go get yourselves a divorce. For crying out loud! There's no love, there may as well be no marriage.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2019): Your husband is unreasonable if he has girlfriends and 'cut your head off' if you fooled around. So there is not much hope for an open relationship. What did he do when you 'cheated' before? if he was abusive you need to get a lawyer.
My marriage evolved in to open relationship -- done having kids we both had flings at the same time. We just shrugged, a little embarrassed we caught each other. But the guilt was gone. OR can work with a loving reasonable couple.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 December 2019):
 Why are you even married if this is the way you both are. What are the benefits of marriage?
I honestly don't understand.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (29 December 2019):
 OP, just get divorced. Neither of you love each other; you just keep cheating on each other. An open relationship doesn’t solve that. Cheating is about the secrecy and lying . Open relationships are about the honesty and trust.
Why do you want to waste your life with a serial cheater? He is a jerk. You know this. Accept it or get a divorce.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (29 December 2019):
 Lulu,
I have some bad news for you. Being in an open relationship is:
1) For couples who have a strong healthy relationship to start with.
2) Not nearly as much fun as cheating.
Here is my advice to anyone married to a serial cheater (person who has had multiple extra marital affairs) Divorce them. Marriage is for people who want to have an exclusive sexual relationship. Your partner is clearly not able to do this.
Here is my advice for serial cheaters. (this is also you) Get into addiction recovery treatment. find out why you continuously seek out this destructive behavior and get help getting over it. Then when you have a handle on that, and if you still want to live a single lifestyle, adjust your life so you are single.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2019): So confused about why you two are married if you both just want to cheat on each other all the time. I think it is time you bring up an open relationship. Say, babe, I know you're cheating on me and we have both cheated a lot in the past. We have two options here; we accept that we have an open marraige and we can both see other people or we call it a day and move on.
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