A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I´ve been with my bf for 2 years and everything´s beautiful and sweet, we don´t fight, we just love each other. At least, I thought so...Yesterday I found out something, that turns my all ideas about our ideal relationship upside down..Me and my bf met for the first time in a club and we talked together all night, couldn´t take our eyes from each other, we often say it was fate and we fell in love with each other immediately. But yesterday one friend of my bf, who was at the club that night too, told me some details about that night and it didn´t please me at all..He was drunk and he said not to tell my bf. He said that when he asked him about me that night, how I was like etc., my bf said: I don´t know, she´s fat.It really pissed me of and I don´t know what to do. I told my bf about this and he said his friend was lying and he doesn´t understand why he would say that. But I don´t know if I´m supposed to believe my bf or his friend..My bf never complained about my body in our relationship, that´s why it´s so surprising, and I don´t think I´m fat. It´s really frustrating to find out something like this after 2 years..I feel like i was living in a lie...
View related questions:
drunk, fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013): thank you guys, it helped to look at it in another point of view..Perhaps I´ve been too mad about it to my boyfriend..I guess we should both forget it..(author)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 July 2013):
 when I first met my husband he did not think I was beautiful. He does now.
Maybe he said it THEN but he did not know you and it has no bearing on what he feels NOW.
let it go.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013): I find it strange that you would believe a drunk guy's word against your boyfriend - without any reason to.
He has never given you the impression that you are not attractive to him. He wouldn't have stuck around if you were not good looking enough to attract him. You don't have any problems in your relationship.
Enjoy it. Don't look for problems.
Ask him to reassure you that you're sexy while you recover from this.
Reconsider spending time with someone who would spoil your relationship for no reason. Whether it was true or not, it was horrible and nasty of him to say it to you. Especially since your relationship is blossoming.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013): 1) guys lie to their friends about liking girls ALL the time, especially if it's a "like" that is more than a sexual one2) when we love someone, it changes how we view them3) why the heck would you believe the drunk guy without question?he may very well like your body, and chances are if its been that long, he loves you very much and likes your body too and at that time have said that to his friend to be sorta evasive about liking it because he knew his friend wouldnt agree. Haven't you ever known someone who said the person they liked was ugly? in younger boys it sometimes is manifested in the boy bullying the girl but secretly liking the person... it's a kind of subconscious defense mechanism a lot of people use, so that in the case of rejection, we don't lose too much face ....don't think he has been thinking that you're fat all these two years. he hasn't.And chances are if you bring it up to him, he'll try to play it off as nothing, or try to convince you it was nothing, so if it will make you feel better... tell him what his friend said while drunk (dont want him getting mad at his friend either) and for goodness sake, believe him when he gives you the explanation
...............................
|
