A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so before I go all clichéd on you guys, I want to explain something to you. Something that thoroughly shocked me at first but then after thinking about it, I really started to like it.Last Saturday night, I went to a strip club with two of my best guy friends (they're the guys who will be standing up with me at my wedding when the time comes). That's how close these guys are to me. Anyway...I'm in the private room waiting for the dancer to start doing her thing in the glass room in front of me. Now, she can not see me because the strippers are not allowed to turn on the light to see who is viewing them but the client can certainly see her.The woman shows up and starts working the pole in the glass room but I don't see her face until about a minute in. When I DO see her face, I notice it's the girl I've been best friends with for over a decade now! I had a massive crush on her all throughout junior high and most of high school but never dared to make a move because I was too much of a chicken sh*t.I had no effing idea she was doing this on the side! But I kept watching her because I'd never seen her so "free" except when I saw her in a bikini growing up during the summers. In extremely skimpy lingerie (stuff she was slowing taking off), my mind was numb with pheromones. I had the BIGGEST boner I'd ever had; she was just... beautiful.But I had to turn the light on because I respect her too much. After a few seconds, she realized who I was and yelled out in an embarrassed tone, "Oh my god! Spencer!" (Spencer is not my real name.)Two days after that (this past Monday), I bumped into her at the cafe at our university. She immediately blushed and started walking away. When I apologized for what happened on Saturday, she said, "I didn't want anybody that I know to know." I told her she didn't have to feel embarrassed about showing herself to me. I would've tipped very well had she stuck around to finish.Well, the last couple of days, I've really been contemplating all of that and would not appreciate it at all if she kept stripping. I'd like it, though, if she'd be my own personal stripper; namely my girlfriend. Just, the thought of other guys looking at her and giving her money for it makes me sick to my stomach. She really does only belong to me.I know that sounds possessive but dammit! I can't help it! I don't want to share her! Now, unfortunately, I'm kind of the huskier type of guy with a hairy chest. I also have glasses and bad acne. She's basically model material, so my chances of getting with her are slim to none. But we've known each other forever and I want to see if I can take this anywhere. Especially now that we're both in our early 20s, almost done with college and we'll go our separate ways permanently if I don't act soon.What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): This is hilarious pal. Thank you so much for sharing! Yes, act on this woman! Forget about ur appearance, there is reason youve been friends for so long and the fact she was embarrassed and not pissed shows that she knows you care about her. Her reaction was normal and you showed her respect and didnt grope after her. Way to maintain that as making a sudden hormone move could have hurt ur chances for sure. Yeah...call her or even go see her again lol no just kidding...but call her and even ask to meet her somewhere comfortable so you can express feelings for her and what your intentions would be. Embrace this man and go for it...you got the ba**s def lol!! You have my strong words of encouragement so just do it man. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 I'll write in a humourous and ironic manner, but not to be offensive, but to help you see my points better. Or so I hope.
You could tell her that you have always loved her and seeing her stripping has now added lust to the love. Of course, don't use those exact words, since I am just trying to give you the basic idea, and, also, to help you see in a blunt way that now you have the hots for her.
The chances, however, are not that good, and this is not because you wear glasses and have a bad acne. And a hairy chest. The heart of the matter is that she has seen you as a friend (as in "someone I don't date") all these years, and your seeing her naked does not mean that will change.
Now, some reality check. You have loved her all these years, and have kept your distance because you've felt like Shrek and she is Fiona (before going green). You have felt that you shouldn't say "something stupid like I love you". But she doesn't know that, and she could dismiss you as simply being in heat. As in "Hairy saw boobs. Hairy says he loves me. Yeah, right".
She's also embarrassed that you saw her like that, and she might be afraid that you would rat out on her. So perhaps she will treat you very kindly but will keep her distance.
The fact that she's leaving soon is not good for you, but, it doesn't change things, either. Her leaving in, say, one month, does not mean she would agree to being with you any faster. It would still require that you made her tick, that she found you attractive, that she found that there's a big heart behind all that hair, et cetera.
If you want to have something with her, do move slowly. Meet her somewhere (but, don't stalk her) and say, "Hey, what are the odds of me coming from the library with my forty pounds of books by Xenophon, Plato, Origen, Aristotle and Aquinas, and bumping into such a nice girl?"
I'm afraid that you might simply be in heat. If you're not, it's crucial that she understands that seeing her naked just gave you another reason to like her. She has to understand that you don't just want to take her to bed. And that must be true, and it must be said in a way that you don't rush things.
Happy perusing the Greek Classics!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): You saw her skimpily dancing around, it was your ultimate fantasy as you have always wanted her, she only wants you as a friend. Does the job for money and you immeadiately want her to stop it so she can be your own personal play thing. 'She really does only belong to me.' That is rubbish. Complete bollocks, she's not your property at all, and didn't even like it when she found out it was you, if she had fancied you she would have stayed around for the dance.
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