A
female
age
41-50,
*errie
writes:I have been with my boyfriend nine years. Recently found out he has cheated. Only found out as we ended up with a std due to him playing away.He then went on trying to tell me we must of had it all this time. Got the truth in the end but i don't feel its the whole truth.He says this was the first and only time cheated on me. I can't believe a word that comes out his mouth anymore. I still love him but the trust has gone and everytime he comes near me all i can see is him with someone else.Is it possible to get passed all this? To build it all back up to the way it was before this happened? Could i ever trust him again?
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cheated on me, std Reply to this Question
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female
reader, superfly  +, writes (19 June 2007):
You need to spend more time with your family about life concerns than just being a family member.
Family, if the are honest and care about you, can understand and would have the better answers of how to help you avoid this, prevent this, become a better person with values, so that you can stop doing stupid things that could cause you a life time of DISEASE, ILLNESS AND POSSIBLY DEATH.....THEN WHAT?....YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO KEEP THAT A SECRET?...YOU DISEASE IS CAPABLE OF BEING HIDDEN!......Your family seriously understands, and regardless how bad they could be, or how perfect they may be, they would always know what to do to prevent their love ones from getting into danger!
Good luck and stop having unprotected sex!
A
female
reader, kerrie +, writes (14 June 2007):
kerrie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone for your help. I don't have anyone i can turn to with this one. I could not bare telling my family. YOU all really helped me and gave alot of good advice. THANKYOU
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A
female
reader, superfly +, writes (11 June 2007):
You're lucky this STD wasn't HIV......OR SYPHILLIS.If you continue with this guy, you could be dead at a very young age.My heart goes to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): No, you will never be able to trust him again. He is a cheater, not only a cheater but you had to pry just to get the truth out of him about it!He gave you an STD! If he loved you EVEN A LITTLE BIT, would he have cheated? Would he have lied? Didn't think so.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 June 2007):
 If you look at my ratings you'll see they are already in the toilet! Not a problem, I just hope things go well for you.
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A
female
reader, kerrie +, writes (7 June 2007):
kerrie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for your help i know what you's are saying is true and feel the same just had to hear it from someone else and also eyeswideopen sorry i rated your reply wrong clicked at the wrong star sorry
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 June 2007):
Trust is like an iron bar once it's bent, you can straighten it out but it will always have a weak spot. The fact that he didn't even use protection and passed a STD onto you is really bending the bar. I guess only you can decide if you can straighten it out or whether it's even worth the effort. Good luck, honey.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (7 June 2007):
 I don't think you will ever trust him 100% again. Maybe he could earn some of it back but never all of it. That's just not the way we work: once the trust has been broken once, it takes a heck of a lot to get that back and sometimes, it's not even worth trying.
You trusted him with your body and he betrayed you and put you in danger. How can that be forgiven? I'm not saying hold a grudge against him forever, he doesn't even deserve that, just let him go to be someone else's problem. I think you need to move forward on your own and find someone who loves and respects you like you deserve to be.
Someone once said, trick me one: shame on you, trick me twice: shame on me. I'm starting to use that one a lot on here these days! If you take him back and he does the same again or you find out he cheated more than once, you have only yourself to blame. Think carefully.
You don't deserve to spend your life trying to make this work. Life's too short, love should just happen and work, not be so much effort it tires you out. If you can forgive him and trust him again, you're a bigger woman than I. But think it through or you'll spend the rest of your life wondering whether he's been at it again.
Good luck, I think you'll make the right decision.
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