A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I currently work for a company who are going through redundancies, and as a result a lot of us have had to re-apply for our jobs. This has been very stressful, but thankfully yesterday I was told I had been successful and have secured my role. However, a good friend of mine from uni is friends with the hiring manager, and when I told her I had got my role she told me she already knew as the hiring manager and her had been together the night before and she had let it slip (unprofessional I know). The HM also told my friend that another girl in my team, who I'm friendly with, was unsuccessful so she will be made redundant at the end of the month. The problem is this girl has been on holiday this week so she doesn't know this yet! My friend assumed she'd been told at the same time as me, which she would have been if she'd been in the office, but as a result I now know before she does. She is back tomorrow and will find out then, but I'm not sure what to say to her once she has been told. She will obviously be upset, and I feel anything I say will make it worse since I have secured my role. What do you think I should say? If it had been sprung on me tomorrow then I'm sure I'd have thought of something on the spot, but now that I know I feel awful for her and I want to prepare to make sure I don't make it worse. Aaaargh this is exactly why I usually avoid the office gossip! Thanks.
View related questions:
co-worker, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (14 February 2013):
You keep your mouth shut until she tells you and then you act sympathetic/surprised.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): All you can do is tell her that you are sorry. If she needs support be there for her. Say nothing to her of what you did learn if you meet up with her later.That is the way it is with companies, lay-offs, firings. Sometimes it not even your job performance, but it's that you have been with the company so long that you make too much money and they need to cut. It generally comes down to the bottom line and that is what the bean counters are there to do.I knew when some were being laid off before they did. I knew the day I was being laid off, because other's knew before me and I could tell right off because of how they were staring at me when I walked into the company that morning and then shortly thereafter that dreaded phone call comes to see the manager in their office. At least I got called to the office. After that, they did it in groups.Life goes on. Hopefully, she will be able to find another job. Just be there for her is the best advice I can give you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): Thanks So Very Confused and no nonsense Aidan. I suppose there isn't much else I can say other than sorry is there? I'll just feel so bad seeing her so upset, and if I'm honest I feel a bit guilty for feeling excited about my role when she is going to get bad news. I'm also a bit paranoid that she'll pick up on my excitement and be mad at us/feel even worse. As for the disciplinary stuff, I have not and will not mention this to anyone. It is absolutely not my place to do so and I have no desire to get involved in something that has nothing to do with me. I was only thinking about what to say when she returns to our office (4 of us share as we do the same job) given that 3 of us have kept our jobs and she will probably be gutted. I just don't want to make a bad day even worse by acting the wrong way. Thanks for the advice all.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): I think the other posters have misunderstood you a bit here. I don't think you plan on telling her or anyone else anything yourself, you simply want to know what to say to her after the news has been broken am I right? In that case I think you should try not to give any direct advice, and listen to her if she wants to talk about it. You say you are friendly with this girl so I'm sure she will appreciate that it's a difficult situation for everyone.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2013):
 how about the truth "I'm so sorry to hear this"
that's all you have to say,
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (13 February 2013):
As is often the case, iAmHereToHelpYou is spot on here. Keep out of it and say nothing. There is no need for you to say anything, if it becomes known that other people have been talking and word has got out about this private matter, a lot of people, your friend and the hiring manager included, could get in to trouble. So could you; it’s likely that revealing such information would constitute an incident of serious misconduct and you could be facing disciplinary action of your own. It has to come from the managers who made the decision, her line manager or whoever has been authorised to inform people of the decisions that have been made. When she comes back, say hello and keep your head down. When she finds out, just tell her you are sorry to hear her news and wish her well for the future.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): IAmHereToHelpYou, honestly I'm not intentionally getting involved but she is probably going to tell us (her co-workers) the outcome of her meeting afterwards and I can't just say nothing in response. I'm really only looking for some advice on the most sensitive way to handle the conversation when she is likely to be hurt and upset.
...............................
|
