A
female
age
51-59,
*amabear36888
writes:My husband and I have been married for ten years. I have never had cause to think that he was cheating on me. We have a healthy sex life, he is home every night at the same time, we talk about everything, and he is my best friend. Last night I found a couple of text messages between him and a woman that he met at an adult friend finder web site. I called this woman and she was suprised to find out that my husband was married. She told me that they had never met but had been discussing getting together for a "no strings attached" hook up. I confronted him and the only reason he could give was he thought about it sometimes. So I don't blame myself for this, this is all on him. I keep myself in good shape, I'm adventurous in the bedroom, I treat him with respect and dignity, and I love him with all that I have. So here are my questions, will he do it again? and is it possible to forgive him.
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best friend, sex life, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): I have just found the same painful truth with my boyfriend...so I symapthise completely.
A
female
reader, mamabear36888 +, writes (8 September 2008):
mamabear36888 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the anonymous female who wrote me that encouraging answer...thank you. You have given me suggestions I can use.
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A
female
reader, Leelee1222 +, writes (8 September 2008):
What I cant understand is that if your his bestfriend why would he need to go to "Adult friend finder" that is bulls**** I would also think that is emotional cheating.Unless the two of you have that kind of relationship that is totally wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): I believe you should forgive him, but its a little tricky. He is someone that you talk about everything with, and for so long you believed that you knew him, but in fact there is obviously a little part of him that he kept from you. An act always starts with a thaught. Remember that. But also remember that he is a flesh and blood male that has fantasies. But there is a limit to them when involved and happily married. You might want to sit him down, and calmly ask him questions. Like you are his best friend, make him feel like you unselfishly want to know the answers and that you won't hold it against him. That is going to take some time and meditation for you to get in the right mind set because a woman's emotions seep through her pores. Also ask yourself what he was like before you guys got together. What type of woman he dated. What he found attractive and pleasurable. It is wrong for you to think that if your husband was one way before you met him that he has totally changed. When you do find ou why and what he really really is into. Try to do it happily and at the same time keep your self respect. Most man cheat or are fascinated by other women because they aren't at there beck and call. They are misterious and quite unavailable. You are his wife now so you can't be those things in a grand scale. But you sure can hint that you still are sexy and attractive and if you are not his fantasy, you sure are someone else's. Try to do it w/o words. If you say that he will think you are belittleling him and attacking his ego. Go out on dates and wear fashions that make your body look good, but not slutty. Go with him, to a place where you know guys like to look. Go with a group of that love you and be your charming self so that it is obvious that you are loved. Bottom line is he needs to be reminded of what he's got. And while others are paying attention to you, pay close attention to him, be sweet to him, wisper in his ear, say that you want him tonight. Whatever it takes. His emotions will go crazy because it is a mix of anger, passion, love, pride,ect. He will be so ready by the end of the night. Good luck.P.S.Keep talking to him and tell him some of your fantasies, wether they involve him or not, but always make sure that you let him know he is your world.
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