A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Found gf flirting with another girl via text. When I confronted her she confirmed that she was an old friend who started by saying hi and got inappropriate, she didn't like it and she asked her to stop. But I read the texts and there was not stopping from my gf. My gf didn't respond much back but the fact that they went back and fort with this girl makes me angry. The girl even texted her" i will rock ur world and more" and she did not say stop to thos girl at all. And the fact that she hide it from me makes it even worst, and I can't let it go . I had issues with cheating in the past and I don't want to go this way. Plus I promise myself and her i will never check phone which I really don't but I got a feeling. What do I do?? Should I break up with her?? How do I go about dealing with this..??
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (20 March 2013):
 this is a sticky situation. as women, sometimes we are trained not to be rude to people or be harsh. so it's possible that her not responding WAS her attempt at asking her to stop without having to directly hurt her feelings.
women are all about subtlety. we don't like to blurt out mean things or hurt anyone's feelings. is it possible that she wasn't wanting this girl to say these things, so she just kept ignoring her hoping she'd eventually quit?
you're very emotionally caught up in this situation, so it's hard for you to see it from an outside perspective. which is completely understandable. but i think you should try to evaluate what your girls intentions were. only you read what the texts said. only you can know if she was flirting back or if she was ignoring her hoping she'd quit.
this is why i really think people should never go through their significant others personal stuff. because you will ALWAYS find something you don't like to make you paranoid and insecure. because you're snooping with the intention of finding something. otherwise, why would you be snooping in the first place? so you're already going into it expecting something bad. and sometimes the way we talk to people can be misinterpreted. we may mean nothing by it, but to our girlfriends/boyfriends who are hyper sensitive to these things, it may appear differently. as i said, most people go into it already looking for something bad. it makes us paranoid for no good reason at all.
if i were you, i'd take a little bit of time to evaluate and attempt to distinguish reality from imagination. was it really as bad as it seemed? if so, dump her. if not, give her a chance. good luck.
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